Lessvn 11

              Does Parental Permissiveness Affect
                  Children's Development?

                          Text

            Who Is to Blame, Mimi, or Her Parents?

  I always thought Xiao Hong a sl;oilt and wilful child, but today I met a girl a hundred times worse. Compared to her, Xiao Hong is an angel!
  Uncle and Aunt Liu came for a visit and brought their darling girl Mimi with them, a girl of five and their only child. The first sight of her disgusted me. She was dressed and made up like nothing on earth. I always hated the sight of Xiao Hong when she got all painted up on C:hildren's Day or on other festive occasions. But this Mimi was painted up for no reasons at all..
And even worse, she had her hair permed too. It' s bad enough to see grown-up women perm thei.r hair into all sorts of shapes and styles - haysacks, loosewires, bird-nests, cock-tails, name what you will,but it's their own funeral. If they want to abuse and spoil their own hair, they are welcome to it, but to do it to their chilren is really awful. As though that' s not enough, the Lius had Mimi's ears pricked too in order that she may wear ear-rings ... What next? They?woulci have her feet bound too if footbinding should suddenly become fashionable.


  The way she was made up, bad as it was, was nothing compared with the way she behaved. When Mum offered her some sweets, she grabbed two handfuls, and refused to say a "Thank you! " when gently reminded by her mother. "Dear girl! She is always shy before strangers and forgets her manners! " What a bare-faced lie! By no stretch of imagination could Mimi be described as a shy girl . Anyway I don' t think she has had any manners to forget.

When she played with Xiao Hong's things, her only pleasure seemed to lie in destruction. When she started to tear up Xiao Hong's picture books, it was really too much and Xiao Hong tried to rescue what remained by snatching them away. Obviously Mimi had never been crossed by anyone like this before and she started to howl like a pig being killed. Her parents rushed up to her, as, though their darling daughter was in mortal danger.


  "Horrid Xiao Hong! Spank her! Spank heri " Mimi kept screaming. Without finding out what it was all about, and without a single word of reprimand, the Lius were all out to mollify her. "There, there, don' t cry my precious! Auntie will spank her later! " But Mimi was not so easily mollified. "No, no! Mammy spank her now!" Her mother really went up to Xiao Hong and clapped her hands behind Xiao Hong's back, pretending to be spanking: "See if you dare to make Mimi cry again! " This sort of farce went on and on.


  Lunch was an even more hectic affair, either because she had too much sweets in her or she was over-nourished anyway, she just refused to eat anything. All the same she insisted on having all the best dishes in front of her and dipped her spoon into every one of them at will, while all the time her parents, one on each side of her, tried their best to spoonfeed her. They coaxed and cajoled, and for every occasional mouthful Mimi took, they cheered and praised as though it was a remarkable feat by their darling daughter. They expected cheers and praises from us too. More often than not, Mimi would spit out what she had just taken, and the table was littered with her spilt and spat out food. She spoiled the whole meal for everybody.


  At last we had a moment of peace and quiet when Mimi dozed off after the meal. But it was only a lull before another storm. When the Lius tried gently to wake her in order to leave, she got into a tantrum because they had disturbed her sleep, and
she kept raining blows ori her father all the way he carried her downstairs. Serves him damn well right, I said to myself in secret delight. At last Mimi was doing something with my full approval. I would love her even more if she did the same to her mother.
  When the door finally closed on them, Mum and Dad looked at each other and burst out laughing. Soon we were all laughing.



II. Read
  Read the following passages. Underline the important viewpoints while reading.

              l. The Growing up of a Black Boy

  One evening my mother told me that thereafter I would have to do the shopping for food. She took me to the corner store to show me the way. I was proud. I felt like a grown-up. The next afternoon I looped the basket over my arm arid went down the pavement toward the store. When I reached the corner, a gang of boys grabbed me, knocked me down, snatched the basket, took the money and sent me running home in pamc.


  That evening I told my mother what had happened, but she made no comment. She sat down at once, wrote another note, gave me more money and sent me out to the grocery again. I crept down the street and saw the same gang of boys playing down the street. I ran back into t.he house.
  "What's the matter?" my mother asked.
  "It's those same boys," I said. "They'll beat me. "
  "You've got to get over that," she said. "Now, go on."
  "I'm scared," I said.
  "Go on. Anct don't pay any attention to them," she said;
  I went out of the door and walked briskly down the sidewalk, praying
that the gang would not molest me.


  But when I came abreast of them, someone shouted, "here he is."
  They came toward me and I broke into a wild run toward home. Thev overtook me and flung me to the pavement. I yelled, pleaded, kicked, but they rinsed the money out of my hand. They yanked me to my feet, gave me a few slaps and sent me home sobbing.
  My mother met me at the door.
  "They bea... hea... beat me, " I gasped. "They too... too... took the mo... money .   " I stamed up the steps, seeking the shelter of the hcuse.
  "Don't you come in here! " my mother warned me.


  I froze in my tracks and stared at her. "But they are coming after me, " I said.
  "You just stay right where you are," she said in a deadly tone. "I'm going to teach you this night to stand up and fight for yourself." She went into the house and I waited, terrified, wondering what she was about.
  Presently she returned with more money and another note. She also had a long heavy stick. "Take this money, this note and this stick," she said. "(Go to the store and buy those groceries. If those boys bother you, then fight." I was baffled. My mother was telling me to fight - a thing that she had never done before.
  "But I'm scared, "I said.


  "Don't you come into this house until you've gotten those groceries," she said.
"'rhey'll beat me.
  They'll beat me," I said.
  "Then stay in the streets. Don't come back here."
  I ran up the steps and tried to force my?way past her into the house. A stinging slap came on my jaw. I stood on the sidewalk, crying. "Please, let me wait until tomorrow!" I begged.


  "No, " she said. "Go now! If you come back into this house without those groceries, I'll whip you. ?She slammed the door and I heard the key turn in the lock.
  I shook with fright. I was alone upon the dark, hostile streets and gangs were after me. I Have the choice of being beaten at home or away from home. I clutched the stick, crying, trying to reason. If I were beaten at home, there was absolutely nothing that I could do about it. But if I were beaten in the streets, I had a chance to fight and defend myself.


  I walked slowly down the sidewalk, coming closer to the gang of boys, holding the stick tightly. I was so full of fear that I could scarely breathe. I was almost upon them now.
  "There he is again," the cry went up. They surrounded me quickly and began to grab for my hand.
  "I'll kill you." I threatened.
  They closed in and, in blind fear, I let the stick fly, feeling it crack against a boy' s skull. I swung again, landing another skull, then another. Realizing that they would retaliate, if I let up for but a second, I fought to lay them low, to knock them cold, to kill them so that they could not strike back at me. I flayed with tears in my eyes, teeth clenched, stock fear making me throw every ounce of my strength behind each blow. I hit again and again, dropping the money and the grocery list. The boys scattered, yelling, nursing their heads, staring at me in utter disbelief. They had never seen such frenzy. I stood panting, egging them on, taunting them to come on and fight. Wben they refused, I ran after them and t.hey tore out for their homes, screaming.


  The parents of the boys rushed into the streets and thieatened me. And for the first time in my life, I shouted at grown-ups, telling them that I would give them the same if they bothered me. I finally found my grocery list and the money, and went to the store.
  On my way back, I kept my stick poised for instant use, but there was not a single boy in sight.
  That night, I won the right to the streets of Memphis.



      2. Parents Are Too Permissive with Their Children Nowadays

  Few people would defend the Victorian attitude to children, but if you were a parent in those days, at least you knew where you stood: children were to be seen and not heard. Freud and Company did away with all that and parents have been bewildered ever since. The child's happiness is all-important, the psychologists say, but what about' the parents' happiness? Parents suffer constantly from fear and guilt while their children gaily romp about pulling the place apart. A good old-fashioned
spanking is out of the question: no modern childrearing manual would permit such barbarity.

The trouble is you are not allowed even to shout. Who knows what deep psychological wounds you might inflict? The poor child may never recover from the dreadful traumatic experience. So it is that parents bend over backwards to avoid giving their children complexes which a hundred years ago hadn't even been heard of. Certainly a child needs love, and a lot of it. But the excessive permissiveness of modern parents is surely doing more harm than good.


  Psychologists have succeeded in undermining parents' confidence in their own authority. And it hasn't taken children long to get wind of the fact. In addition to the great modern classics on child care, there are countless articles in magazines and newspapers. With so much unsolicited advice flying about, mum and dad just don't know what to do ariy more. In the end, they do nothing at all. So, from early childhood, the kids are in charge and parent.s, lives are regulated according to the needs of their offspring. When the little dears develop into teenagers, they take complete control. Lax authority over the years makes adolescent rebellion against parents all the more violent. If the young people are going to have a party, for instance, parents are asked to leave the house. Their presence merely spoils the fun. What else can the poor parents do but obey?


  Children are hardy creatures (far hardier than the psychologists would have us believe) and most of them survive the harmful influence of extreme permissiveness, which is the normal condition in the modern household. But a great many do not. The spread of juvenile delinquency in our own age is largely due to.parental laxity. Mother, believing that little Johnny can look after himself, is not at home when he returns from school, so little Johnny roams the streets. The dividing-line between permissiveness and sheer negligence is very fine indeed.


  The psychologists have much to answer for. They should keep their mouths shut and let parents get on with the job. And if children are knocked about a little bit in the process, it may not really matter too much. At least this wilt help them to develop vigorous views of their own and give them something positive to react against. Perhaps there's some truth in the idea that children who've had a surfeit of happiness in their childhood emerge like stodgy puddings and fail to make a success of life.

            3. Parental Piety Is Taken to Extremes

  The dictionary defines "filial piety" as "a son's or daughter's obedience to and respect for parents". It is a pity that in reality the implication of this expression has changed in China, a nation so proud of this virtue.
  It so happened in a department store that an old couple, after careful
selection and much hesitation, fumhled 600 yuan from their pockets for a quality down quilt, smiling wi.t.h content when. the package was handed over the counter.
  "It's so good to see the elderly spend their savings for their own sake. There aren't many old people who buy expensi.ve commodities for themselves these days," commented a. middle-aged paaer-by.


  "We really should be a bit hedonistic, shouldn't. we?"
  The old couple's smile froze on hearing the words. "It's actually for my youngest son. He's getting married soon," sighed the old man.
  The passer-by nodded understandingly, "Show filial piety to your son, eh?" she said half jokingly. Her words were greeted by a fit of hollow laughter.
  This role reversal-piety to one' s children-is not uncommon, in rural areas and cities alike.


  Parents save every penny for a child to enter a self-paid college if he or she fails university entrance exams. They empty their pockets for a son or daughter's wedding. They do all the household chores for a child living together with them.
  Without exaggeration, Chinese parents are the most thoughtful and considerate of parents in the world. Just visit an amusement park on Sunday and you will see how true this statement is.


  When Chinese parents, or grandparents, accompany their children to amusement parks, rarely do they ride the roller coaster or the wonder wheel; not because they are too timid, but because they are simply too busy queuing up for their children.
  In much the same way, they would sacrifice their own interests for the happiness of their offspring.
  A 1990 survey in Bengbu, Anhui Province, found 62 per cent of the younger families owned colour TV sets; compared with 23 per cent in older families.
  While 61 per cent of younger families possessed refrigerators and 80 per cent had washing machines, relevant percentages from the older families were 19 and 35.
  Apart from the older generation's habitual thriftiness, the survey said the aged spend much income on their children. Their savings were further diminished by entertaining their extended families on holidav.


  In Tianjin, a survey of 100 newly-weds found expenditure for the occasion averaged 11, 380 yuan (  $ 2, 147 ) . Among them, 93 per cent were "sponsored,?by parents, partiaily or totally.
  That explains, to a large degree, why the homes of most Chinese parents are rather plain, with furniture bought in the 1950s and 1960s. In sharp contrast, the homes of young couples display matching furniture, video cassettes and audio systems. Therr houses are usually carpeted and decorated with wallpaper.


  When young people do not have houses of their own upon marriage, their parents readily give up the best space in the house, and retreat to smaller north-facing rooms.
  When grandchildren are born, many grandparents volunteer to be baby-sitters, caring for and bringing up the third generation without complaint.
  This "piety" towards sons and daughters is very moving indeed. But I can't help thinking that it is more natural for children to leave their parents and live on their own as is the practice in other countries.In this way, children can better develop the habit of working and living independently. The older generation, on the other hand, can enjoy their later years in a more relaxed way.


  Occasionally, parents may extend financial help to their children if the latter are really in need of it. But they need not lavish care on their grown-up children. It is the children who should practise the virtue of being filial to their old parents. In this way, society would follow a more healthy path of development.

　

                4. Bringing up Children

[Extract from an interview.]
  "One reason why the family unit is crumbling is that parents have relinquished their authority over children. The permissive school of thought says, "Let the child do what he wants to when he wants to, no matter what it is, don't warp his pecsonality, don't thwart him, you'll ruin him for life.?Because of this we've got a generation of spoilt selfcentred brats with no respect for their elders. Children always push to see how much they can get away with; if you give them nothing to push against, there are no moral limits,no moral convictions will develop in the children. We have this in the schools-children have much less respect for their teachers nowadays. "
  How do you define respect?


  "Realizing that someone else might have desires also. Respect doesn't mean that when someone in authority says "jump" you jump--that's the military approach-but young people today, if they have an opinion that's different from yours, then you re the fool and the re right, even if they don't have enough experience to judge."
  How do you feel about children using stwearwords?


  "I never hear them swear, but I saw one of my daughter's diaries and it was fuil of a word that I'd have spanked her for if she'd said it aloud. Swearing goes against my sensibilities. It's mental laziness. If people aren't allowed to swear they use their brains to find a better word."
  Do you think it's just a matter of convention or do you think there's a deeper moral objection to swearing?
  "I think it' s not done. It' s taboo in nice society. We' ve been taught not to swear, and I think well-brought-up people should avoid it. If I ever hear a woman use "s-h-i-t" I think a lot less of her." (Margaret, 43, American)



      5. Some Hard-working Dads Miss Seeing Their Kids Grow up

  Dear Ann Landers: A number of my friends work so many hours that they rarely see their children. When they finally make the time,they discover that their children are grown up and have no time for them.
  I wrote the following piece and you are welcome to share it with your readers if you think it's good enough. Sign me-Lonely, Anywhere, U.S.A.
  Dear Lonely: It's excellent. You've zeroed in on one of the principal problems of parenthood in the ,80s. Thanks for tossing it my way.


                    Where Did the Years Go?
  I remember talking to my friend a number of years ago about our children. Mine were 5 and 7 then, just the ages when their daddy means everything to them. I wished that I could have spent more time with my kids but I was too busy working. After all, I wanted to give them all the things I never had when I was growing up.
  I loved the idea of coming home and having them sit on my lap and tell me about their day. Unfortunately, most days I came home so late that I was only able to kiss them good night after they had gone to sleep.


  It is amazing how fast kids grow. Before I knew it, they were 9 and 11. I missed seeing them in school plays. Everyone said they were terrific, but the plays always seemed to go on when I was traveling for business or tied up in a special conference. The kids never complained, but I could see the disappointment in their eyes.
  I kept promising that I would have more time "next year? But the higher up the corporate ladder I climbed, the less time there seemed to be.


  Suddenly they were no longer 9 and 11. They were 14 and 16. Teenagers. I didn't see my daughter the night she went out on her first date or my son's championship basketball game. Mom made excuses and I managed to telephone and talk to them before they left the house. I could hear the disappointment in their voices, but I explained as best I could.


  Don't ask where the years have gone. Those little kids are 19 and 21 now and in college. I can't believe it. My job is less demanding and I finally
have time for them. But they have their own interests and there is no time for me. To be perfectly honest, I'm a little hurt.
  It seems like yesterday that they were 5 and 7. I'd give anything to live those years over. You can bet your life I'd do it differently. But they are gone now, and so is my chance to be a real dad.

        6. Parents Go back to School to Teach Children Better

  Having abandoned cl.asses for more than 10 years, many citizens in Beijing have returned to school only because they have become parents.
  They seek help to tackle a thorny problem: the education of their "only child". Some people call these children the "little emperors of China" .
  "Many parents, either doting on their children or behaving badly towards hem, know little about home education and thus make errors, " said Ding Rong, a teacher from the Fourth Middle School of Beijing.


  After a pupil was beaten to death by his mother Last year in Northwest
hina's Qinghai Province, a survey was made in a Beijing primary school. Of the 36 parents surveyed, everybody knew of the incident yet none were aware of any defects in their system of home education.
  Surprisingly, some said they would follow suit if their children failed to study properly.
  "In this sense, parents' schools are badly needed, " said Zhen Yan, deputy general-secretary of Beijing Research Association of Home Education, which is in charge of more than 3, 500 parents' schools in the city.


  The purpose of the schools, she said, was to help parents to establish proper position for their children in a family and society and treat them in a more enlightened way.
  The schools provided a series of lectures on "how to educate your child properly? advice given by experts and "Fumu Bidu" ("How to become good parents") and a monthly magazine published in Beijing with a circulation of 600, 000.
  "I never thought I would re-enter school, ?said Xiao Chengjun, a 40-year-old woman worker, "I was taken aback when I was first asked the question 'Do you really know your child?'"


  Jiang Bo, her 14-year-old son, was a second-year student of Hujialou Middle School in Beijing's Chaoyang District. Of six courses, he failed three of his first term exams. Xiao got angry and beat him, but he showed no improvement.
  It was not until she took courses in a parents' school that she realized beating is pointless. The following term, Jiang Bo succeeded in all his lessons and helped teach his mother English.


  "Children are easily affected," said Ding Rong, "the disharmony, and often the disputes in a family places the child in an awkward position. "
  Parents, who are the first teachers of their children, need not only to instruct, but to.be educated, even by their children, said an expert.
  One pupil complained in a composition that his father, a chain smoker, always left the smell of smoke in the living room and he could not do his homework there.
  Another wrote that his father often played mahjong and the noise kept him awake most of the night.


  "It's the father's fault not to educate his son himself," is an old saying. "But, it's also the father' s fault if he sets his son a bad example, " said Zhen Yan.
  Since China pursues the policy of "one child for one couple", many parents are expecting too much from their children.
  In Taoranting Primary School, Beijing , s Xuanwu District, 423 parents, over 87 per cent of the total surveyed, wanted their children to become university students. About half of them threaiened to punish their children if they did not pass their exams.


  A parents' school set up by the First Experimental Primary School suggested that parents allow their children to take over some household duties on Sundays to build up their sense of responsibility.
  Some parents admitted they ignored the physiological and psychological changes in their children and thus treated them with beatings and scoldings.
  A parent said, "After attending the class, I know more about my child and she also understands me more. "

Lesson 12

              Is It Necessary to Develop Toarism?

                          Text

      A Little Good Will Can Help People Understand Each Other
  Today we had an American family, the Robinsons, for Sunday dinner.
  The man is in China on a joint project with the department where Mum works. They work in the same office and as Mum knows a little English she often interpretes for him too, so they got to know each other very well.
He had often expressed his wish of meeting her family, but Mum hardly dared to invite him to our old slum of a place. Now that.we've moved to our new apartment we have a more or less presentable place to entertain him and his family. Granny was the only one who had any misgivings about having "highnosed foreigners" in our house.


  They came about twelve - Mr. & Mrs. Robinson and their two young daughters about Xiao Hong's age. Mrs. Robinson gave Mum a bunch of fresh flowers, bringing colour, freshness and their good will. Mum did the introduction and it was left to ourselves to get to know each other. As was natural Xiao Hong soon got on very well with the two girls Judy and Annie. They all had a common love for Xiao Hong's little kitten and they had endless fun with it.


  Mrs. Robinson was much younger than her husband, but she was friendly and kindly and knows a little Chinese. There was a moment of embarrassment when Granny asked her age. Mum was about to apologize when Mrs. Robinson laughed and said it was quite all right, that she had been here long enough to know it was the Chinese custom. She quite blandly told us that she was thirty-two, almost twenty years her husband's junior. When they learned that Mum was almost ten years her senior, they were genuinely surprised, for Mum does look quite young. "No wonder you are so good and experienced at your work. I had thought you were fresh from . college! " Mr. Robinson said, perhaps a little flatteringly.


  And of course they thoroughly enjoyed the dinner. Iike a perfect Chinese hostess Mum and especially Granny kept stuffing them with food and urging them to eat and to drink, apologizing all the time that "it's-all very meager and coarse fare. " The Robinsons, on the other hand, were loud in their praises and protestations. "We used to hear about Chinese hospitality and now we know what it's really like. How can you describe such a lavish meal as meager and coarse? Any hostess in the West would be proud of such a feast instead of apologizing for it," Mrs. Robinson said to Mum.


  "And another thing we don't do in the West is to urge the guests to eat and drink," Mr. Robinson added. "With so much good things before me I certainly don't need any urging. The problem is rather how to prevent myself from over-eating! But back at home I often had to ask for a second helping and my hostess would feel flattered that I should want more of her stuff. Here you don't even give me a chance to ask for,more!" We all burst out laughing at that.


  When they rose to leave they thanked us profusely not only for'the excellent dinner, but for giving them such a nice time. "Living in Friendship.Hotel isn't really living in China. Today we feel we are really in China. We' ve learnt much more about the Chinese people and Chinese way of life today than half a year in the Friendship Hotel. You must all come to visit us one day. Or better still, come and see us in the States on day. "


  Judy and Annie were reluctant to go. They made Xiao Hong promise to visit them at Friendship Hotel, telling her not to forget bringing the kitten with her! They insisted on giving everyone of us a hug and a kiss, which quite embarrassed me. I think Granny was really touched when they kissed her. All her misgivings had been dispelled.
  It' s surprising how a little good will on both sides can break language and cultural barriers.


II. Read
  Read the following passages. Underline the important viewpoints while reading.
     
        l. The Tourist Trade Contributes Absolutely Nothing
          to Increasing Understanding between Nations
  The tourist trade is booming. With all this ceming and going, you'd expect greater understanding to develop between the nations of the world. Not a bit of it! Superb systems of communication by air, sea and land make it possible for us to visit each other's countries at a moderate cost. What was once the "grand tour", reserved for only the very rich, is now within everybody's grasp. The package tour and chartered flights are not to be sneered at. Modern travellers enjoy a level of comfort which the lords and ladies on grand tours in the old days couldn't have dreamed of. But what's the sense of this mass exchange of populations if the nations of the world remain basically ignorant of each other?


  Many tourist organizations are directly responsible for this state of affairs. They deliberately set out to protect their clients from too much contact with the local population. The modern tourist leads a cosseted, sheltered life. He lives at international hotels, where he eats his international food and.sips his international drink while he gazes at the natives from a distance. Conducted tours to places of interest are carefully censored. The tourist is allowed to see orily what the organizers want him to see and no more.

A strict schedule makes it impossible for the tourist to wander off on his own ~ and anyway, language is always a barrier, so he is only too happy to be protected in this way. At its very worst, this leads to a new and hideous kind of colonisation. The summer quarters of the inhabitants of the cite universitair are temporarily re-established on the island of Corfu. Blackpool is recreated at Torremolinos where the traveller goes not to eat'paella, but fish and chips.


  The sad thing about this situation is that it leads to the persistence of national stereotypes. We don't see the people of other nations as they really are, but as we have been brought up to believe they are. You can test this for yourself. Take five nationalities, say, French, German, English, American and Italian. Now in your mind, match them with these five adjectives: musical, amorous, cold, pedantic, naive. Far from providing us with any insight into the national characteristics of the people just mentioned, these adjectives actually act as barriers.

So when you set out on your, travels, the only characteristics you notice are those which confirm your preconceptions. You come away with the highly unoriginal and inaccurate impression that, say, "Anglo-Saxons are hypocriies" or that "Latin peoples shout a lot", You only have to make a few foreign friends to understand how absurd and harmful national stereotypes are. But how can you make foreign friends when the tourist trade does its best to prevent you?
  Carried to an extreme, stereotypes can be positively dangerous. Wild generalisations stir up racial hatred and blind us to the basic facthow. trite it soundsl -that all people are human. We are all similar to each other and at the same time all unique.

　

              2. Leaving with a Love of China

  Very soon I will be leaving China. I am well aware that three and a half years is not enough time to "understand" China. But I want to express my appreciation for what has been a marvellous experience, made even richer because I worked for the Coal Industry Ministry at Shandong Mining College, first at Jinan, and for the past 2 1/2 years at Tai'an. Living on campus in the small city of Tai'an,at the foot of Taishan, was a privilege. It gave me a view of China which can never be afforded to those who live in Beijing or Shanghai or any large city. After all, Beijing is not China, any more than New York City is the United States.


  Of course there have been hardships, frustrations and difficulties. But that,s life, anywhere.
  The courtesy, consideration and friendliness which have been extended to me, daily, are precious and lasting. I have traveled over much of China. Most of all, more than all the antiquities, battlefields, scenery, coal mines, factories, temples, operas, and the rest, it is the Chinese people who captured my heart - sincere, warm, incredibly industrious, unsophisticated, and capable of deeper, truer friendship than most Westerners can even imagine.


  I have been welcomed into the homes of many Chinese. I have friends from 3 to 83, peasants, workers, professors, doctors, cooks, drivers. I have known people as they suffer and struggle and laugh and weep and argue and have fun - like all human beings. I have always tried not to "look through American eyes", but to see Chinese as people.


  I suggest to those shallow elitists who.can't live without their golf "exercise", that they come to Tai'an and carry 100 pounds of cement on a shoulder pole up the 7, 000 steps of Taishan. Wonderful exercise, and you can earn 2 yuan a day. Those who complain about Yransportation difficulties of any kind can watch the lao taitai-the old ladies with bound feet - who walk from their villages and make the arduous ascent of Taishan, cheerful and spry. Or ride a bus in any Chinese city at the rush hour, as the Chinese must do every day. (Or any American city; or deal with a Manhattan cabbie. ) And those who complain of the bureaucracy should try going to the Social Security Administration in the US when you are one of the poor and powerless.


  I hope to come back to China some day. But. no matter what, I will never lose what I,ve been given here.
  My thanks to all Chinese for showing me a new, higher standard of strength of character and kindness. And my thanks particularly to the people of Shandong Mining College for their unlimited, unstinted loving care.



            3. Yunnan Makes Efforts to Boost Tourism

  Starting from scratch, tourism in Yunnan Province has made progress by leaps and bounds in the last decade. Only 1, 284 foreign tourists went there in 1978, the year when the provincial tourism bureau was established. The figure rose to 121, 300 in 1988 - an average annual increase of 25. 4 per cent, said deputy bureau chief Miao Kuihe in an interview .


  In the provincial capital of Kunming alone, there are 11 posh hotels, with accommodations chiefly for foreign tourists, and nine travel agencies that provide services for them. There are also 10 arts and crafts stores in Kunming with a variety of articles with exotic flavours, including national costumes of the minorities.
  In such a short time, tourism has asserted its role in the socio-economic
development of the province.
  In Kunming, tourism has provided jobs for 12, 000 people. In the whole province 25, 000 people work in tourist departments.


  Tourism has helped to promote the catering trade, transportation service and commerce of Kunming. It has helped to accelerate the city construction and its embellishment. Moreover, contact with tourists from afar has widened the horizons of the locals, deputy director of the municipal tourism bureau Peng Shaoxi said.
  It has become a consensus of local authorities that tourism is a vanguard ndustry in opening the province to the outside world;it is of trategic importance in economic development, and it represents the orientation of urban construction. In 1988, the provincial government listed tourism as the sixth industry in.importance in economic development, said deputy bureau chief Miao.


  Now, 29 of Yunnan's municipalities and counties are made open to foreigners, a fact favourable to tourism.
  Because of Yunnan' s abundant tourist resources, Miao envisions still brighter prospects for the tourism of the province.
  It is estimated that by 1995, Yunnan will receive about 200, 000 tourists annually and by 2000, their number will rise to 320, 000. Hotels by then should have accommodation for 10,000 people.
  To meet the needs of tourism, appropriate measures are being taken in various aspects, Miao said.


  In April 1988, a centre was set up providing short-term professional training for three to five months for employees in tourist departments. All th'e big hotels have their own training section, aiming at improved service. Seven young employees have been sent to the United States to learn management expertise. Dozens of chefs are in Hong Kong to learn various styles of cuisine. And some young employees are sent to college to learn foreign languages as well as professional skills in tourism, Miao said.



          4. Advantages of Yunnan to Develop Tourism

  According to the publicity chief of the provincial tourism bureau, Chen Keqin, on the strength of its distinctive geographic and ethnic features, Yunnan has the following advantages for the development of tourism :
  A good number of scenic wonders. They are roughly located in three areas. First, those in the area centring around Kunming, of which the Stone Forest is one. The spectacular, jagged rocky formations that rear their heads to the skies are winning world fame. There are also karst caves in this area.


  Second, those in west Yunnan with the two ancient cities Dali and I.ijiang. The Tiger-leaping Gorge of the Jinsha River deserves a mention. It is 16 kilome;res long. The narrowest section of it is about 30 metres wide, which, legend claims, tigers once leapt across. Form the surface of the river to the top of the precipitous mountains on the two sides, the height is 3,900 metres. Within the 16-kilometre length of the gorge, there are 18 risky rapids and in so short a distance, the drop of the water is 210 metres, averaging 14 metres for each kilometre.The gorge resounds with the roaring and dashing of huge waves of the racing water.


  Third, Xishuangbanna Prefecture in south Yunnan. With its lush tropical forests, the area has many fascinating features, in both natural scenery and cultural life.
  Genial climate, with all the year mild and springlike. The average annual temperature is 19.3 degrees Centigrade. As a result, the province is a "kingdom of fauna and flora", with a variety of rare animals and birds, such as elephants, snub-nosed monkeys and peacocks, and tens of thousands of varieties of plants.
  Rich local or special products. They include fine tobacco, tea, ham, medicinal herbs, marble handicraft articles and the Yunnan baiyao, a medicine for haemorrhaging and wounds.


  Folk customs. Inhabited by 24 minorities, Yunnan has many national folk customs, festivals, traditions, dances, costumes and houses that are of great interest. For instance, the water splashing festival in April, with dragon boat regatta, of the Dai people in Xishuangbanna and the torch festival in July, of a few minorities including the Yis, Bais and Sanis, are two of the most famous annual celebrations.


  With such a variety of things to see in Yunnan, tourist parties with special. purposes have been organized. For instance, there are parties to see the azalea looms of all types in various places: mountain climbing; the folk customs of the norities; or walking tours through scenic routes.
  However, according to the deputy director of Kunming tourism bureau, Peng Shaoxi, there are hindrances to Yunnan's tqurism.


  Woefully inadequate transportation facilities. Foreign tourists often find it hard to get into Yunnan, while those who are leaving are often stranded at Kunming's airport for lack of flights.It often takes 10 days to finish a trip in Xishuangbanna, too long for most tourists.

              5. Good Impression about China

Editor:
  Last May, my wife and I visited Beijing, the capital of your beautiful country, and attended the Fourth World Conference on Continuing Engineering Education. We received a warm welcome everywhere we went. Combining business and pleasure, we visited many areas of the city and met quite a few citizens. from all walks of life.
From our visit, we know that China is a great country; we know that the Chinese people are warm and friendly; we know that Beijing is much safer than most American cities. We have told all our friends about our wonderful experiences. In a few years, we hope to return to China and teach for a semester.


  Unfortunately, the American people do not see your country as we did. Our television media does not convey the warm hospitality of the people. Our newspapers do not report the steady modernization of the past 10 years, nor do they mention the continuing increase in the standard
of living. Sad to say, the American public thinks of China as it was 40 years ago.
  The solution to my country,s mistaken impressions about China is simple, but it will take time: continue our open door relations; continue our economic trade; most especially, encourage Americans to visit China and experience her friendship and charm!


                                        Christopher J.Smith
                                        Westville USA

              6. Fond Memories of a Trip to India

  At least twice I thought about giving up my trip to attend a conference on counseling in India last month. The first time was when it seemed I could never, ever get my visa to India. The second time was after I had the visa and went fo buy my plane ticket. There I learned the ticket I had booked was not available because of a computer error.
  But I persevered and I am glad, because the trip turned out to be nice although it was too short for me to see much of lndia.


  From the moment we landed at Bombay airport, we three women from Beijing were surrounded by the differences in language, people, food, scenes and even traffic-one drives on the right side of the road in China but on the left side in India.
  It was a completely strange place, but I felt easy and safe.
  The Indians we met were so friendly that when each of the participants to the conference was invited to say one thing about the meeting, I said, "I am glad to have this chance to know you beautiful Indian women and hand'some Indian men."


  I would not forget the guard at the exit of the international airport in Bombay who kindly insisted that we wait in seats usually reserved for the guards because the people who were supposed to meet us failed to show up as expected.
  And when I wanted to make a phone call to get somebody to pick us up and could get no coins anywhere, another guard took me to a phone reserved for airport staff .


  It could be a very frustrating experience to miss one's flight and arrive at the destination eight hours later than planried, which is what happened to us after the conference.
  But it turned out somehow not as frustrating as it might have been. We were at the Coimbatore airport on our way back to Bombay after the conference, and we were to leave for home from Bombay the next evening.


  We were told that we could not take the 10 a. m. flight as we had planned because our tickets had not been confirmed properly and there were no seats available. But we were told that we could be in Bombay that evening if we took a flight to a nearby airport in Bangalore and go from there to Bombay.
  We were killing time by measuring the airport's modest waiting room when an airport officer stopped in front of us, introduced himself as the officer on duty at the airport, and assured us that there would be no problem, that things would be straightened out for us, and everything would be all right.
  In, half an hour we had our new tickets in our hands.


  Yet, before long, we were called to the ticket counter and informed that we would not be able to catch our connection flight at the Bangalore airport because the flight from Coimbatore would be one hoor late. And we would have to take the next flight leaving Bangalore and arriving in Bombay at 8 p.m.
  One hour later, wben I was thinking how unlucky we were that day, we were lining up for the security check. A young woman in airport uniform approached us and said, "We are so sorry that we failed to arrange your morning flight. We did try, but..."


  You don't hear such words very often when you are upset by travel problems in China, even when you are the victims of the travel service's mistakes.
  Her words swept away my bitter feelings at having to spenci. the whole day at airports while we might have been exploring Bombay for the afternoon.
  And that was one of the several moments when I could not help but fall in love with the Indian people.


  I fell in love with them earlier when a taxi driver, a quiet old man, followed me and gave me his drinking water to wash my mouth when I got sick halfway to the conference place.
  I fell in love with them when the children at the school close to the conference building passed by and greeted us with "hello" and "morning" with smiles and a little shyness.


  I fell in love with them when the college students in Bombay, sitting on steps at the gate, waved to us cheerfully across the street.
  Yes, I would love to visit India again. I want to see the protected forests and the flowers blooming everywhere and the eharming, elegant women in colourful Saris again, and of course, the India Airlines staff members, too.

　


  And I want to see no beggars along the streets, no slums alongside the beautiful beach in Bombay, no school-age boys serving at the tables in restaurants, to hear no new stories about young wives who are burnt to death because the dowry from their parents failed to satisfy the husbands' families.
  And I hope India will see more Chinese visitors in the near future and China see more Indian visitors, too.

Lesson 13

              Work to Live or Live to Work?

                          Text

              What Does Work Mean to People?

  A group of people from different walks of life are being interviewed about what role vork plays in their lives. Their attitudes, as we can see, vary.
Interviewer: Mr. Fisher, you are an accountant and earn a good enough salary to
enable you to live comfortably. What does your work mean to you?
Mr. Fisher: I regard it as a means to an end. Basically I'm a family man, and as  
long as I have a job which enables me to earn enough money to live
well, I'm happy. I find a comfortable life compensates or the fact
that I have a routine life and three weeks holiday per year.
　

Interviewer: So in fact, you don't really mind what you do for a living?
Mr. Fisher: I didn't say that. I wouldn't want to be a manual worker, for
instance.I enjoy my profession up to a point,but it certainly doesn't
rule my life. As soon as I get home I forget about the office.
I suppose you could say I work to live.
　

Interviewer: Miss Burnes - as a school teacher in a working class area of London,
how do.you feel about Mr. Fisher's attitude towards his work?
Miss Burnes: Personally,I couldn't work to live. I must enjoy whatever I do-even
if the salary is low--otherwise I feel it isn't worth doing.
Mr.Fisher: Of course Miss Burnes, you do have long holidays which must be a
great compensation. Also, you aren't married and therefore have no
family responsibilities...
　

Miss Burnes: Being single has nothing to do with it! Even if I were married I' d
still have to have a fulfilling profession.
Interviewer: In other words, Miss Burnes, work plays one of the most important
roles in your life?
Miss Burnes: Definitely! It gives me the mental satisfaction I need and a role in
society. Contrary to Mr. Fisher, I can say that I live to work.
Interviewer: Of course, Mr.Fisher is employed by a company and Miss Burnes by a    
school and therefore both have a certain amount of guaranteed
security.Mr.Evans' "history" is unusual. At the age of forty he gave
up a good job in industry to do what he had always wanted to do --
become a journalist and photographer. He's self-employed and does
freelance work. Mr. Evans, do you have any regrets?
　

Mr.Evans: Yes - one. That is that I didn't resign from my oth.er job when I was
younger!.
Interviewer: What made you leave the business world?
Mr. Evans: Well - although I had a good salary and a job which involved a lot of
travelling abroad, I always felt I was in the wrong job.
I felt tense all the time and I suddenly realized that, in spite of
security and what seemed to my friends to be an exciting job, I' d
stopped enjoying simple but important things...'
　

Mr.Fisher: Don't you consider your choice rather selfish? What about your wife
and family?
Mr.Evans: They're delighted. They see the change in me - find me more relaxed,
and therefore my relationship with my wife and family has improved,
because I'm not frustrated any more. It's because I'm doing what
I want to do.
Interviewer: Do you work as hard as before?
Mr.Evans: Yes - even harder. But I'm self-disciplined and I find that working  
hard for a few hours gives me time to play hard too. I have a more
balanced life.
　

Miss Burnes: So in fact, you too have a routine life?
Mr.Evans: Of course! Everything becomes routine after a while. But it's up to
us to make that routine a creative experience -
Miss Burnes: Oh yes-I do.agree!
Mr.Evans: And we mustn't forget that"all work and no play makes Jack a dull
boy"...


II . Read
  Read the following passages. Underline the important viewpoints while reading.
   
                    l. Why Work?

Matthew:   Michael, do you go out to work?
Michael:   Not regularly, no. I... I used to;I used to have a job in a publishing  
  company, but I decided it wasn' t really what I wanted to do and that
  what I wanted to do wouldn't earn me much money, so I gave up working
  and luckily I had a private income from my family to support me   and
  now I do the things I want to do. Some of them get paid like lecturing
  and teaching, and others don't.
　

Matthew:   What are the advantages of not having to go to work from nine till
  five?
Michael:   Ah... there' re. . . there' re two advantages really. One is that if
  yeu feel tired you don't have to get up, and the other is that you can
  spend your time doing things you want to do rather than being forced
  to do the same thing all the time.
　

Matthew:   But surely that's in a sense very self-indulgent and very lucky because
  most of us have to go out and earn our... our livings...um.Do you feel
  justified in having this privileged position?
Michael:   Yes,because I think I ase it well. I do.things which I think are useful
  to people and the community and which I enjoy doing.
Matthew:   Joan, do you think that in order to lead a balanced life, people need
  some form of work?
　

Joan:   Yes, I do, but I think it's equally important that their attitude
  to work... um. .. should be positive. If orie is going to look on work
  as drudgery, something that one does so that one will enjoy one' s
  leisure or whatever comes after it, then... then I don't think there...
  there can be very much satisfaction in it. But it seems to me that
  whatever work one is actually doing... er... can become creative,and
  I think that this is what we all need to feel that we are creating
  something,in the same way that even when er... a mother cooks a meal,
  she is creating, in her own way, something which... which is very
  necessary to her family.

           

                    2. What Is the Value of Work?

Matthew:   Chris, what do you think the value of work is?
Chris:   Well, I think it... in our present-day society... um... for
  most people, work has very little value at all um... Most of us go
  out to work for about eight to nine hours of our working day.
  We do things which are either totally futile and totally useless
  or have very little justification whatsoever, and for most of us
  the only reason for working is that we need to keep ourselves
  alive, to pay for somewhere to live, to pay to feed our... our
  children.
　

Matthew:   But surely people wouldn' t know what to do if they didn't have to
  go to work?
Chris:   Well, again this raises the sort of... two main aspects of work...  
  That one, should we think of'work only as... as a sort of
  breadwinning process, and this is very much the role it has in
  current society, or should we take a much wider perspective on work
  and...and think of all the possible sort of activities that human
  beings could be doing during the day? I think the sort of
  distinction um currently is between say, someone who works in a car
  factory and who produces cars which are just adding to pollution,
  to overconsumption of vital resources, who is doing something
  which is... very harmful, both to our environment and to, probably
  society... um, to contrast his work with someone perhaps like a
  doctor, wbo I think in any society could be jostified as doing a
  very valuable job and one which incidentally,is...is satisfying to
  the person who is doing it.
　

Matthew:   What do you do? Is your job just a breadwinning process or do you
  get some satisfaction out of doing it?
Chris:   Well, in the job I... I do I find that most of the
  satisfaction...is a mental one; it's coming to grips with the
  problems of my subject and with the problems of teaching in the
  University. Clearly this is the type of satisfaction that most
  people doing what we call in England "white-collar" jobs... um...
  tend to look for and tend to appreciate in theii jobs. This is
  quite different from the sort of craftsman, who is either working
  that his hands or with his skills on a machine, or from people
  perhaps who are using artistic skills which are of a quite different
  character.
Certainly it's becoming a phenomena that people who do

  "white-collar?jobs during the day, who work with their minds to
  some extent, although many "white-collar" jobs now are becomin very
  mindless, people who work on computers, people who... um... are
  office clerks, um... bank employees, these people have fairly
  soul-destroying jobs which nevertheless don't involve much
  physical effort, that they tend to come home and do"do-it-yourself
  " activities at home. They make cupboards... um... paint their
  houses, repair their cars... which somehow provide the sort of
  physical job satisfaction... um that they're denied in their
  working day.
　


                    3. The Worst Job

  The worst job I ever had was as a waitress at a rest stop on the New Jersey Turnpike the summer I was 18. Everyone who passed through the place wanted their food now, and many of them seemed to think that tipping was a nice idea in theory but not in practice. The' pace was manic, and I had to wear a hairnet and white oxfords: Most of the time I arrived at work crying, and drove hotne crying. The only good thing I can say about the experience is that it left me with the most profound respect for people who wait tables and with a pronounced tendency to overhp.


  I had other jobs, before and after that one. I stuffed jelly doughnuts at a bakery in a bad neighborhood; I called people who were behind on their bills and ordered them to pay up. I was good at doughnuts and bad at threats. After that I bad jobs in the newspaper business only, so I never felt that I had a bad job again. I did not particularly care for working night rewrite on New Year's Eve, but I imagine that makes me just about average.



                4. What Do You Do, Daddy?

  A young boy asks his father, "What do you do, Daddy?" Here is how the father might answer: "I struggle with crowds, traffic jams and parking problems for about an hour. I talk a great deal on the telephone to people I hardly know . I dictate to a secretary and then proof-read what she types. I have all sorts of meetings with people I don't know very well or like very much. I eat lunch in a big hurry and can't taste or remember what I've eaten. I hurry, hurry, hurry. I spend my time in very functional offices wi~h very functional furniture, and I never look at the weather or sky or`people passing by.

I talk but I don't sing or dance or touch people. I spend the last hour, all alone, struggling with crowds, traffic and parking." Now this same father might also answer: "I am a lawyer. I help people and businesses to solve their problems. I help everybody to know the rules that we all have to live by, and to get along according to these rules."
                 


                  5. I Can't Stop Working

  There have clearly been three times in my life when it would have been not only appropriate but reasonable for me to do something other than earn money. Once my father would have supported me while I went to summer school. Once I could have supported myself with savings while I was on strike. And once I would have been supported by my husband while I raised small children.


  I couldn't do it. I went to summer school at 9 a.m. and to work at il a.m. During the strike I did a radio show and magazine work. And during my maternity leave, after the checks ran out, I started to get nervous. Very nervous. I was having a wonderful time with my children, but there was this little flutter in my stomach that said, "You haven,t got a dime." For whatever reason, I am not good at joint assets unless my assets are making some substantial contribution.


  It's hard to figure out why I can,t be more relaxed about this, why I never backpacked through Europe like my friends because I had to be at work. I grew up in a comfortable middle-class home. My father worked very hard-too hard, I always thought -to fill the role of working man and the role of Dad, which probably made him just about average for his time. My mother never worked outside her home. It,s hard for me to figure out how a little girl in such an environment wound up thi.nking of herself as a breadwinner before current fashion dictated that she should do so.


  It probably has a great deal to do with independence, with feeling beholden to no man-and i suppose I do mean man. Mothers worry now about raising daughters who are willing and able to support themselves and their children if their marriages go crash. But I worry about being a woman who is not quite able to relax about her own self-worth and the incalculable value of the domestic functions she performs, not quite able to let the household run for a time driven only by her husband , s paycheck. It would make sense for me to do that, when my next child is born. For a time, as I did with the other two, I will not work. But the flutter will begin and I will want to have earning power again-not to buy anything in part.icular, just to know I am still a player.


             
                6. When Taking Home a Paycheck Means
                    More Than Dollars and Cents

  I have worked for money since I was 16 and went to the principal's office to ask for working papers. My problem is that I don't know how to stop, even when it would make sense and be possible to:do so for a time. Working for money has always meant something more to me than a bank balance. I suppose I have felt that at?some level I am my paycheck. Not how much I take home; if quantity were a real issue I wouldn't be in journalism. Just that, like Everest, the money is there. I need to be on a payroll to affirm myself. It doesn't seem like a healthy need; if I were male, of course, it would seem like second nature.


  It's an interesting concept, money, sort of the way respiration is an interesting concept. We're not supposed to care about it too much, especially now, when the bad rap on baby boomers is that they've forsworn drugs because they can get high from their cash management accounts. To say it's.central to who and where we are may be verboten; it also happens to be true. If you haven't got any, you're on the streets or on welfare. If you've got a whole lot, you're on the best-seller list and you don' t have to play Monopoly anymore because in real life the entire boardwalk bears your name.


  Most of us fall somewhere in the middle. Most of us need to work to pay the rent, make the mortgage payments. I.ots of us convince ourselves that we need to work 60-hour weeks to do that, but that's of ten because we've let the size of our toys get. out of control.
  We've got a gender gap on the issue, too. A man who is not interested in earning money is a ne'er-do-well or a freeloader; a man who is supremely successful is a captain of industry. But society is still more comfortable with women who see earning power in terms of selfprotection, not self-promotion.


  While it has been fashionable during my lifetime for professional women, plagued by guilt over conflicts between their roles as mothers and as workers, to say that they work because it fulfills them, that's only haif the story for me. I also like it because it pays. That makes me feel guilty. I should have better priorites. The new saw about not mimicking male behavior turns out to be an old saw in disguise: we should not be prey to the baser impulses.



            7. Work Brings Social and Personal Esteem

  For these men, work is seen, not so much as a necessary evil, but as an opportunity to use one's skills in a way that gains money and esteem and is quite pleasant in itself. Work is a way of life, a mental challenge, an emotional involvement. The rat race is described as being exciting, and, when high status is combined with high financial rewards, it brings both social and personal esteem, Work can also give scope for male assertiveness;being in a position of command and control is a satisfaction on which several men proudly commented.



              8. Work for High Financial Rewards

  "I've got happier as I've got richer in direct proportion . For me money buys happiness."
  For some men the business of making money through work is gratifying and exciting in itself. Their lives are geared towards this and they have chosen their jobs principally for their high financial rewards. For them money is important, not just for what it will buy, but as a badge of success: money and status are inextricably linked. Sometimes the whole family is involved in the quest to "get on", sometimes wife and children have to take second place, but they all have a common aim. They are the competitors, the self-made men, many of them with a well-conceived plan of self-betterment over a five- or ten-year span. Most of them left school without any academic distinction and started in business without any capital resources; rhey took courses where necessary, worked hard and made their own chances.

Lesson 14

              Does the Younger Generation Know Best?

                              Text

                The Younger Generation Knows Best

  Old people are always saying that the young are not what they were. The same comment is made from generation to generation and it is always true. It has never been truer than it is today. The young are better educated. They have a lot more money to spend and enjoy more freedom. They grow up more quickly and are not so dependent on their parents. They think more for themselves and do not blindly accept the ideals of their elders. Events which the older generation remembers vividly are nothing more than past history. This is as it should be. Every new generation is different from the one that preceded it. Today the difference is very marked indeed.


  The old always assume that they know best far the simple reason that they have lieen around a bit longer. They don't like to feel that their values are being questioned or threatened. And this is precisely what the young are doing. They are questioning the assumptions of their elders and disturbing their complacency. They take leave to doubt that the older generation has created the best of all possible worlds. What they reject more than anything is conformity.

Office hours, for instance, are nothing more than enforced slavery. Wouldn't people work best if they were given complete freedom and responsibility? And what about clothing? Who said that all the men in the world should wear drab grey suits and convict haircuts? If we turn our minds to more serious matters, who said that human differences can best be solved through conventional polities or by violent means? Why have the older generation so often used violence to solve their problems? Why are they so unhappy and guilt-ridden in their pexsonal lives, so obsessed with mean ambitions and the desire to amass more and more material possessions? Can anything be right with the ratrace? Haven't the old lost touch with all that is important in life?


  These are not questions the older generation can shrug off lightly. Their record over the past forty years or so hasn' t been exactly spotless. Traditionally, the young have turned to their elders for guidance. Today, the situation might be reversed. The old - if they are prepared to admit it-coutd learn a thing or two from their children. One of the biggest lessons they could learn is that enjoyment is not "sinful".

　

Enjoyment is a principle one could apply to all aspects of life. It is surely not wrong to enjoy your work and enjoy your leisure; to shed restricting inhibitions. It is surely not wrong to live in the present rather than in the past or future. This emphasis orr the present is only to be expected because the young have grown up under the shadow of the bomb: the constant threat of complete annihilation. This is their glorious heritage. Can we be surprised that they should so often question the sanity of t.he generaiion that bequeathed it?


II. Read
  Read the following passages. Underline the important viewpoints while reading.

                1. Problems of the Young

  More than 20 Chinese and American experts discovered that young people of both countries are facing the same probiems of economic and social pressures and lack of confidence.
  Wayne Meisel, director of the Campus Outreach Opportunity League of Minnesota University, said that under economic pressure American young people have to work hard and most students have to take part-time work in order to support themselves.


  "Young people today, ?he said, "are stereotyped as apathetic, selfcentred, and concerned only with making money and getting ahead."
  In these circumstances, he said, young people lack confidence,whicb was not the case in the 1960s when young Americans thought themselves capable of doing anything.
  In spite of the different conditions in China, Li Xuequan, director of the, higher education section of the All-China Youth Federation, said Chinese young people are alsc facing economic pressure and are worried about iriflation and corruption.
Trading has appeared in many Chinese universities as students with something to sell try to make money on campus.


  Moreover, Li said, college students have begun to doubt whether what they are learning in class will help them find work,as many businesses totally ignore students of pure theory.
  So people describe students as "a lost generation tired of study", regardless
of the causes in society that are shaking their confidence.


  In order to resolve these problems, the Chinese and American experts agreed that youth organizations should call on the whole of society to create favourable conditions for the healthy growth of young people, as well as to enconrage them to meet the urgent needs of society and to challenge the assumption that young people are apathetic and uncaring.


  Meisel said that since last year he has sent letters of . "challenge to youth" to many young people, urging them to commit themselves to addressing such needs as feeding the hungry, housing the homeless, educating the illiterate, consoling the lonely and sick, serving the elderly,and preserving the environment.
  The letter says: "Through service, we touch the lives of others and enrich our own. "



                2. Students' Mental Health

  According to a study conducted in Tianjin, out of 50, 000 college students, 16 per cent have suffered from anxiety, nervousness, depression or problems due to the early onset of sexual awareness. Of students from elementary school to high school age in shanghai, 27 per cent have some kind of emotional disorder,are tired of study, have premature love affairs, smoke or run away from home. In addition, most of them are bothered by impulsiveness, envy, worry or melancholy. Not a small number of students show a sense of inferiority, squeamishness, aggression or strong self-will.


  Bad psychological health causes serious repercussions in a teenager's individual development. In tliree main high s.chools in the southwest of China, of students leaving school, 74 per cent left due to bad health and 42.2 per cent of those suffered from emotional problems and stress.


  During puberty, teenagers go through a period of "changing times? During this time, most teenagers' bodies and sexoal desires develop. They are beginning to mature both physically and mentally. But most of them can not become mature in both these areas at the same time. Some teenagers' emotions remain childish, dependent and impetuous. hf we do not resolve the problems that face t.eenagers, they not only will suffer from them, but they will also probably go astray.



              3. Worries Induce Emotional Problems

  More than 16 per cent of Chinese college and middle school students have emotional problems caused by concern over exams, poor relationships with their teachers and a lack. of enthusiasm for their studies.
  Some students feel depressed, fearing they fall short of their parents' expectations.
  An unhappy family Tife can also lead to depression.
  These conclusions are the result of research into emotional problems among college and middle school students.


  According to a study of 2, 961 urban,and rural college and middle school students,. problems arise most frequently in two groups: students in their first and second year of junior middle schools and those in their last year at senior middle school . or the first year in higher-learning institutions.


  The survey also revealed that emotional problems increase as students get older.
  The percentage of students with emotional problems in junior middle schools is around 13 per cent, while the figures for students in senior middle school and higher-learning institutions are 19 and 25 per cent respectively.



                  4. Eager to Be Off

Me:   Mummy. I've been thinking, I think I might go to London at the end of
  the week.
Mama:   Oh yes?
Me:   Yes, a friend of mine wants someone to share a flat and I thought it
  would be a good.opportunity for me to...
Mama:   Well, that sounds a very good idea. Where exactly is.this flat?
Me:   Well, we haven't exactly got one, but I thought I might go and look -
  it's easier if you're on the spot.
Mama:   Oh yes, I'm sure it is. I hear it's very difficult to find flats in
  London these days. '
Me:   (myheart sinking as 1 think of adverts, agencies, Evening Standards, in
  etcetera )Oh no, it's not at all difficult, people get themselves fixed
  up no time.
　

Mama:   Oh well, I suppose you know better than me. What will you live on while
  you're there?
Me:   I'll get a job. I'll have to sometime" you know. I'll write to the
  Appointments Board.
Mama:   Just any sort of job?
Me:   Whatever there is.
Mama:   Don't you want a proper career, Sarah? I mean to say, with a degree like
  yours...
Me:   No, not really, I don't know what I want to do.
Mama:   I'm not sure I like the idea of your going off all the way to London
  without a proper job and with nowhere to live... still, it's your own  
  life, I suppose. That's what I say. No one can accuse me of trying
  to keep you at home, either of you... Who is this friend of yours?
　

Me:   A girl cailed Gill Slater. She was at Oxford...
Mama:   And what does she do?
Me:   Oh, She's a -she's a sort of research student.
Mama:   Oh yes? Well, it sounds like a very nice idea. After all, you won't want
  to stay here all your life cooped up with your poor old mother, will you?
  I shall lose all my little ones at one fell swoop, shall I?
Me:   Oh, don't be silly.
Mama:   What do you mean, don't be silly? It seems to me you're very eager to be
  off.
　

Me:   You know that's not it at all.
Mama:   Well, what is it then?
Me:   Well, it's just that I can't stay here all my life, can I?
Mama:   No, of course you can't, nobody ever suggested anything of the sort .  
  When have I ever tried to keep you at home? Haven' t I just said that
  you must lead your own life? After all, that's why we sent you off to
  Oxford, it was always me who said you two must go - I don't know what I
  wouldn't have given for the opportunities you,ve been given. And your
  father wasn't any too keen, believe me. In my day education was kept
  for the boys, you know.
Me:   Well, you hadn' t any boys to educate, had you? You had to make do with
  us.
　


                  5. A Room of One's Own

A:   Have you ever... you know... sort of... Mum's said to you, like, Could you  
  help me clear up? So you say, Yes, O. K. and you put your brother's or
  sister's things away, and then they come up and they say, Where's so and so?
  (Yeah...Yes)But then you think to yourself, Well,it's annoying to have... to
  have... to leave somebody's coat or something in the middle of the room...
  (Yes... Yes,I know...) Do you know what I mean?
B:   And when they do complain, you feel as if you haven't done your job, but
  you say, Well, I did pack it away, didn't I?... You know...what are they
  then complaining about?
　

D:   It's annoying as well...
E:   I do the same. . . I mean if I find anything lying around... if it's no good
  I just throw it away...
A:   It might mean a lot...
D:   I think in my family. ..I think my mother is the most considerate... she'd
  ask rather than my father...my father wouldn't.
A:   Well, I'm lucky...I've got a room of my own...so...
D:   I'd like a room of my own, but then again, you don't keep everything
  in your room, do you? My dad or mother goes in there and finds anything that
  she doesn't think is necessary... my mother would ask me first,but my dad...
B:   Well, frankly, my mother wouldn't touch anything in my room, you know... she
  just doesn' t. She feels I've put it there for some purpose... but again, if
  I go into her bedroom... (Yeah... That annoys me... ) But say if I have a
  day off from school... or when...or we, ve got some sort of holiday and
  I see things arouad and I say, well, you know, I' Il give the place a good l
  old clean, at least it'l help...and I put things neatly, it's all tidy. ..I
  wouldn't throw anything out, because I'm not sure whether she wants it or
  not...and then she comes home, she says, Where's this? where's that?
  ... I feel awful...
　

D:   And you feel that...um...she doesn't appreciate...
B:   ... appreciate, you know... I even the other day moved her bedroom... er...
  (Furniture) ... furniture around.
D:   I did that in my house...
B:   I did... I thought it looked awful where it was, you know.
A:   But I... what annoys me is my room... is my room ... If... if it , s in a
  muddle I know where everything is... I like my room to be in a mess.
B:   But you see, we... I keep that as a sort of main bedroom, you know... (main
  room...)Yes, sometimes I don't even sleep in my room, it,s so cold....
　

C:   Ooh, crumbsl
B:   How do you feel on this subject, Pamels?
D:   [with a great guffaw] Negative!
C:   I always know where everything is in my room even if it is untidy, but my
  mother comes along and I can't find anything anywhere.
A:   I like it when you get to that age where your parents seem to realize that
  you're... you're going off on your own... (Yes... You're growing up... )...you've
  got your own life to lead, so you think, Right, we'll leave all her things,
  she can do what she likes with them. It's her time, she can do what she
  likes with her time.
　

B:   They start frorii a certain point, don't they?
E:   Well, I don't think they always do that...They try to remember that you're
  growing up and then they forget.
D:   Yes...they try to protect you...
E:   They' re treating you like children and telling you where to put things...
C:   ...going round tidying up after you.

        6. "Intimate Elder Sisters" Allay Teenagers' Worries

  Xiao Lin, a third year junior high school student from Beijing, packed his books and clothes and left home, with tears in his eyes.
  He felt his divorced parents never loved him. He felt lonely, but he did not know where to go.
  He thought of 440779, a phone number to reach the so-called "Intimate Elder Sisters".
  That day was a day to remember in'his whole life. One of the sisters came to see him, and to his utter enjoyment, spent .the day playing with him .

　


  "She told me 'The world is not as cold as you think it is. There is so much love here. I love you. Your friends love you.'"
  Xiao Lin stayed at home, trying to fill it with the love he got from his Intimate Elder Sister.
  Actually, the Intimate Elder Sisters are Wu Ruomei, I.u Qin, Ge Shujuan and Huang Xiaopo, editors o# the China Chiidren's News. Since they opened the hot line in March 1988, they have received mor.e than 10,000 calls from children across the country.


  "We hope to ease their troub(es through heart-to-heart chats," said Wu Ruomei. Many of the children they talked to were disturbed by secrets they felt obliged to keep from both their parents and their teachers.
  Children reach the Elder Sisters every day by phone with a wide range of funny or astonishing questions. "I' m growing into a fatty, sister, and I don't want that," and, "What do children on other planets look like?"


  The questions are not always small and easy to solve. Yet, " Even if we just listen to these children' s sobbing, we' re helping them out of their loneliness," Wu said.
  When Iittle Yanni called her Elder Sister in Beijing from Wuhan, she was weeping. "Mama is dying from cancer," she said. "I don't want her to leave me."
  After comforting little Yanni, her Sisters informed children in other parts of the country, who sent Yanni and her mother letters and gifts, encouraging them to fight the disease courageously.


  A Beijing boy refused to be identified on the phone. But he told his Elder Sister his cousin had accidentally injured another child and had to pay all the medical fees. Afraid of informing.his parents, he had stolen 110 yuan from a classmate's home and was discovered later. He was in great distress, but did not know what to do.
  Wu said to him, "The boy's actions are forgiveable. Once he clears up the situation, he'll.win the trust of others.?Her sense told her that the boy was talking about himself.


  After the call, Wu wrote to the boy's father, asking them to help the boy.
  A few days later, a boy appeared before the editors. It was he who had taken the money. Now, a good student in No 20. Middle School of Beijing, he often visits with his Elder Sisters.
  During the past year, Wu and her colleagues also opened the hot line for a short period in eight other cities in the country. In Nanning, capital of South China' s Guangxi Zhuang Autonomous Region, they received 509 calls in three days.

Lesson 15

              Should Smoking Be Prohibited?

                          Text

              Passive Path to Death for Non-smokers

  Alice Trillin was 38 and thought she was in excellent health. Then "this completely crazy thing" happened.
  "I coughed and a tiny, tiny blood clot took me to get a chest X-ray. Ten days later I had my lung removed."
  Trillin had lung cancer, the kind smokers get. But she had never smoked a cigarette.
  The cause of her cancer remained a mystery until a doctor friend asked if her parents.had smoked. They had.

  "Nobody had ever said anything about passive smoking. I hadn't worried about the question much," she says.
  Most scientists hadn't worried about it much either, until studies in recent years showed that passive smoking was causing 3, 000 to 5, 000 lung cancer deaths a year among Ainerican non-smokers. Now a study estimates that the toll from passive smoking, including deaths from heart disease and other cancers, may be 10 times that.


  Tobacco smoke in the home and workplace could be killing 46, 000 non-smokers each year in the United States, the study concludes. That's 3, 000 lung cancer deaths, 11, 000 from other cancers and 32, 000 heart disease deaths.
  That would make passive smoking the leading preventable cause of death in the United States after alcohol and smoking itself, said Dr. Ronald M. Davis, director of the US Office on Smoking and Health. Smoking kills 390,000; alcohol, 120, 000.
  "No longer are we talking about runny nose or watery eyes or headache or nausea, but a fatal disease," Davis said.


  Passive smoking has become the principal battleground for the tobacco industry and its opponents in the 1980s. It is no longer merely a health issue, but political and environmental. Cigarette pollution is fouling the air.
  "We know that the indoor environment is far more polluted than the outdoor environment, " said James Repace of the Environmental Protection Agency indoor air programme. "We've seen that again and again wherever we've looked all over the United States."


  Many people believe smokers have the right to smoke. But they also believe that others shouldn' t have to pay a price.
  "When you talk about an involuntary risk, the society becomes much more cautious, " said University of California-San Francisco biomedical engineer Stanton Glantz, an environmentalist and anti-smoking activist.
  The new estimate of non-smoker deaths is controversial. Researchers agree it is preliminary and needs to be confirmed.


  A tobacco industry consultant said the emphasis on passive smoking was misplaced. Many public health officials disagree.
  The risk of tobacco smoke " is greater than the risk of radon gas is to non-smokers", Repace said. "We're talking maybe 40 per cent greater. And if you're talking ahout all the carcinogenic air pollutants that EPA regulates, it,s l00 times
greater."




II . Read
  Read the foltowing passages. Underline the important viewpoints while reading.

                  l. Benefits of Smoking

  Sir, The. essential fact about smoking, which most commentators of recent years seem to have ignored is that cigarettes give a vast number of people a good deal of pleasure a lot of the time. That is way the world smoked almost 5, 000, 000, 000, 000 of them last year; approximately 1, 200 for every man., woman. and child on earth.
  It is not high pressure advertising that makes the Chinese smoke heavily-any more than it was wicked merchants who.persuaded ihe seventeenth century Persians to smoke, despise the Shah's ingenious punishment of pouring molten lead down their throats when they were caught.


  There is considerable evidence, surprisingly little publicized. by cigarette manufacturers, that smoking produces certai'n beneficial effects in human beings. Frankenhauser showed that smoking counteracts the decrease in efficiency that typically occurs in boring, monotonou's situations, and that smokers impro-ved their performance in complex choace situations while smoking. There is a growing body of evidence that nicotine can produce a tranquilizing effect during high emotional and shock situations, whil'e on the other hand stimulating con:cen.tration in tedious situations.


  None of which proves that smoking may not cause cancer or other illnesses. But, as the late Compton Maekenzie wrote, "If cigarettes vanished from. ihe earth today, I believe the world would go to war again within a comparatively short time."
  An extravaga.nt exaggeration, perhaps. But certainly tempers would be shorter, nastier and more brufiah.
                    Yours faithfully,
                        Winston fletcher



                2.Is Smoking a Bad Habit?

  1, a casual smokery always wonder if smoking is really a bad habit. If it is, why does our country produce such a large riumber of cigarettes every year? (As you know, Chi.na is the largsst cigarette producing country in the world. ) If it is,. why do so many girls adrnire handsome boys with a cigarette on their lip?


  My friends tell me, "Smoking is a waste of money, a cause of disease..." Admittedly, these reasons frighten some people into giving up smoking, but can you ensure that non-smokers will live long without dying in an epidemic or getting killed by a drunken driver? Can you say it is not a waste of money for most non-smokers habitually to spend a lot of money on snacks?


  In my opinion, smoking is only an amusement, like playing cards, reading, etc. Many years ago, when an adult handed me a cigarette and lit it for me, I felt grown up. When I am with friends and have nothing to say, we smoke, consequently we no longer feel embarrassed.
  Sometimes, I light a cigarette, watching my loneliness, suffering and nervousness vanishing with the smoke, I can't help saying inwardly: Hello, cigarette, my old friend, I' m coming to meet you again.



                3. Smokers of the World, Unite

  It can scarcely have escaped the notice of thinking men, I think, being a thinking man myself, that the forces of darkness opposed to those of us who like a quiet smoke are gathering momentum daily and starting to throw their weight about more somewhat. Every morning I read in the papers a long article by another of those doctors who are the spearhead of the movement. Tobacco, they say, plugs up the arteries and lowers the temperature of the body extremities, and if you reply that you like your arteries plugged up and are all for having the temperature of your body extremities lowered, especially during the summer months, they bring up that cat again.


  The cat to which I allude is the one that has two drops of nicotine placed on its tongue and instantly passes beyond the veil. "Iook," they say. "I place two drops of nicotine on the cat's tongue. Now watch it wilt." I can't see the argument. Cats, as Charles Stuart Calverley said, may have their goose cooked by tobacco juice, but are we to deprive ourselves of all our modest pleasures just because indulgence in them would be harmful to some cat which is probably a perfect stranger?


  Take a simple instance such as occors every Saturday on the Rugby football field. The ball is heeled out, the scrum half gathers it, and instantaneously two fourteen- stone forwards fling themselves on this person, grinding him into the mud. Must we abolish Twickenham and Murrayfield because some sorry reasoner insists that if the scrum half had been a cat he would have been squashed flatter than a Dover sole? And no use, of course, to try to drive into these morons' heads that scrum halves are not cats. Really, one feels inclined at times to give it all up and turn one's face to the wall.


  It is pitiful to think that that is how these men spend iheir lives, putting drops of nicotine on the tongues of cats day after day. Slavas to a habit, is the way I look at it. But if you tell them that and urge them to pull themselves together and throw off the shackles, they just look at you with fishy eyes and mumble something about it can't be done. Of course it can be done. All it requires is will power. If they were to say to themselves, "I will not start putting nicotine on cats' tongue till after lunch" it would be a simple step to knocking off during the afternoon, and by degrees they would find that they could abstain altogether. The first cat of the cats is the hard one to give up. Conquer the impulse for the after-breakfast cat, and the battle is half won.



                4. Common Sense about Smoking

  It is often said, "I know all about the risk to my health, but I think that the risk is worth it." When this statement is true it should be accepted. Everyone has the right to choose what risks they take, however great they may be. However, often the statement really means, "I have a nasty feeling that smoking is bad for my health, but I would rather not think about it." With some of these people the bluff can be called and they can be asked to explain what they think the risk to their own health is. When this is done few get very far in personal terms.

The bare fact that. 23, 000 people died of lung cancer last year in Great Britain often fails to impress an individual. When it is explained that this is the eq.uivalent of one every twenty- five minutes or is four times as many as those killed on the roads, the significance is more apparent. The one-ineight risk of dying of lung cancer for, the man who smokes twenty-five or more cigarettes a day may be better appreciated if an analogy is, used If, when you boarded a plane, the girl at the top of the steps were to welcome you aboard with the greeting, "I am pleased that you are coming with us-only one in eight of our planes crashes."

how many wouid think again, and make other arrangements? Alternatively, the analogy of Russian Roulette may appeal. The man smoking twenty-five or more a day runs the same risk between the ages of thirty and sixty as another who buys a revolver with 250 chambers and inserts one live bullet and on each, of his birthdays spins the chamber, points the revolver at his head,


and pulls the trigger. One of the difficulties in impressing these facts on pgople is that, despite the current epidemic of lung cancer, because it is a disease which kills relatively quickly, there are many who have as yet no gxperience of it among their family or friends.



            5. On Smoking -Its History and Harm

  Tobacco smoking is believed to have started in Central and South America. Nearly 500 years ago explorers who went there with Columbus brought back to Europe the habit of pipe smoking, which they had Learned from the New World Indians. It was introduced into China from Luson during the Ming dynasty.


  Until the 1900's tobacco was used mainly for cigars, ,chewing tobacco, pipe tobacco and snuff. Cigarettes may first have been made by the Aztecs of Mexico. They smoked shredded tobacco rolled in corn husk covering. Cigarette smoking gained some popularity in Europe during the 1800's. It increased sharply after World War I and again after World War II.


  For centuries the smoking of tobacco in cigarettes, cigars and pipes has produced controversy over possible health hazards. Scientific investiBations of smoking and health gained impetus after the beginning of the 20th century, when an increase in lung cancer was noted. But only since the 1950's has sufficient scientific evidence accumulated to make possible a thorough evaluation of the health risk. Although some gaps in knowledge still exist, the information now available is sufficient to permit making sound judgements.


  Since cigarettes have steadily become more popular than cigars and pipes, investigators have directed their principal consideration to cigarette smoking.
  As we now know, tobacco contains an organic compound-nicotine. It is the rincipal alkaloid of tobacco, occurring throughout the plant. Nicotine, one of the many substances pharmacologically active in tobacco smoke, exerts an effect on the heart and nervous system in particular. The effect on the nervous system is predominantly tranquilizing and relaxing. There is little doubt that the physiological effects strengthen the habit. So for centuries, some people obstinately believed tobacco smoking possessed medicinal properties.

It reduced tension and was pleasurable. But in reality, it has turned out to be tragedy. When you smoke, you're breathing in close to a gram of dirty brown tar a day. Even the smoking of only a few cigarettes a day causes many dangerous ailments. An American scientist estimated that smokers who average a package a day for 20 years will lose about eight years of their lives.
  Along with the increase in cigarette smoking, many scientific investigations
have been undertaken. Overwhelming evidence proves the danger and harm of smoking.


  Experimental, clinical-pathological, and epidemiological evidence indicates that cigarette smoking is the main cause of lung cancer.The risk of developing lung cancer increases with the number of cigarettes smoked per day and the duration of the smoking habit, and it diminishes with the cessation of smoking.


  Cigarette smoking was also found to be connected with other types of cancer. It is considered a major factor in causing cancer of the larynx and is associated with cancer of the esophagus. Smoking is a significant factor in the development of oral cancer, and pipe smoking alone or with other tobacco use, is causally related to lip cancer.
  Cigarette smoking is the greatest cause of chronic bronchitis. A person suffering from chronic bronchitis may have the disease and the cough connected with it, for many years, perhaps for the rest of his life.


  Cigarette smoking has also been found to be connected with pulmonary emphysema, a disabling disease of the lungs. The smoking of cigarettes increases the risk of dying from chronic bronchitis and from pulmonary emphysema.
  Smoking is associated with coronary heart disease. Nowadays this disease accounts for a high percentage of deaths annually. Cigarette smokers are much more likely to die from a heart attack than nonsmokers.


  Smoking injures blood vessels, speeds up hardening of the arteries and increases the work of the heart. It is one of the factors contributing to high blood pressure.
  What little we've mentioned above is sufficient to show that smoking is extremely harmful to health. Most peple throughout the.world have come to realize the danger. Nowadays some governments are taking practical measures against smoking. We sincerely advise those who have formed the smoking habit to stop and those who haven,t yet started not to. It is both for your own sake and for the sake of the next generation.  

A recent survey report says that children exposed to parental cigarette smoke may be put at a higher risk of developing lung disease later in fheir lives. Passive exposure to smoke may. also interfere with normal lung growth in young children. There is a strong association between parental smoking and children' s pulmonary function. Children who recorded the weakest lung function were found to be smokers themselves and to have parents or brothers and sisters who smoked.
  So let us join together to launch a mass movement to break this harmful smoking habit, and build ourselves up, healthy and strong, to work hard for the four modernizations.



              6. Call to Stop Offering Cigarettes!

  To the Chinese, who claim to have invented rules of etiquette, offering igarettes is a way of being hospitable to guests.
  When somebody calls, first of all, the host would offer him a cigarette and a cup of tea. In the countryside, hospitable, old men often allow visiting guests to share the long-stemmed Chinese pipe which they themselves are smoking. At wedding ceremonies, brides would offer cigarettes to all guests who came to eXpress their congratulations and light the cigarettes for.each of them one after another.


  All these were originally aimed.. at displaying the Chinese hospitality and respect towards the guests. But in recent years, the oId tradition has been used as a means to nurse good relations.
  Even those who never smoke have brand-name cigarettes in their pockets. Whenever they have to seek somebody's favour, they first offer him a cigarette, If the other party turns it down, he is being impolite. If he accepts it he has to do something, for courtesy demands a favour in return.


  Tobacco contains harmful substances. So offering cigarettes to somebody is equal to doing harm to him, gut neither people who offer cigarettes nor those who take them fully realize it.
  It is even more unhealthy for the host to pass the long-stemmed Chinese pipe or water pipe to the visitor after smoking it beforehand.
  Once I paid a visit to a relative who had just returned from abroad. He was smoking but did not produce one for me. Instead, he placed the cigarette packet on the table and told me: "Cigarettes produce carbon monoxide and nicotine. But if you don't mind this, take it yourself.?


  His way of offering cigarettes was unique but worth learning.
  Many people throughout the world are attempting to quit smoking. But to give up the practice, firstly I think, we had better cl7ange the tradetional method of entertaining guests.
  Not to offer cigarettes does not mean one is inhospitable. The cigarette packet is on the table. If you cannot check your craving for one at the risk of your health, you may. But you will have to bear the consequences
yourself.
  You had better also bear in mind that while you are smoking and harming yourself, you are also polluting the air and hurting others.



                7. Smoking Is a Bad Habit

  Smoking is a bad habit. Firstly, it ruins people's health. Health experts have warned us for years that smoking can lead to heart disease, lung cancer and various respiratory ailments. The World Health Organization says diseases linked to smoking kill at least 2, 500, 000 people each year. Research conducted in many countries also indicates that pregnant women who smoke run the risk of having deformed babies. Besides, it has been proven beyond doubt that when a person smokes, he subjects the people around him not only to great discomfort but also to physical harm.


  Secondly, smoking is extravagant. Smokers, either wage-earners or those who live off their parents, spend a large sum of money on cigarettes, which cost them at least 10% of their expenses each month. What's more, sensible women try to avoid marrying heavy smokers, even though some of them appreciate the image of a handsome young man with a cigarette dangling from the corner of his mouth. A friend of mine, a heavy smoker, has been seeking an ideal wife who will tolerate his extravagant "hobby? but up to now he hasn't found one.


  Thirdly, smoking has a bad impact on the psyche of the smokers. After realizing the bad effects of smoking, many people try to give up smoking. but no matter how hard they try ,some of them just can't resist the temptation to smoke again. Gradually, they lose confidence in themselves and get used to making excuses.

Lesson 16

          Is Money the Most Important Thing in Life?

                          Text

            "The Only Thing People Are Interested
              in Today Is Earning More Money."

  Once upon a time there lived a beautiful young woman and a handsome young man . They were very poor, but a's they were deeply in love, they wanted to get married. The young people's parents shook their heads. "You can' t get married yet," they said. "Wait till you get a good job with good prospects."So the young. people waited until they found good jobs with good prospects and they were able to get married. They were still poor,of course. They didn't have a house to live in or any furniture, but that didn't matter. The young man had a good job with good prospects, so large arganizations lent him the money he needed to buy a house, some furniture, all the latest electrical appliances and a car. The couple lived happily ever after paying off debts for the rest of their lives. And so.ends another modern romantic fable.

  We live in a materialistic society and are trained from our earliest years to be acquisitive. Our possessions, "mine"and "yours", are clearly labelled from early childhood. When we grow old enough to earn a living, it does not surprise us to discover that success is measured in terms of the money you earn. We spend the whole of our lives keepig up with our neigbbours, the Joneses. If we buy a new television set, Jones is bound to buy a bigger and better one. If we buy a new car, we Can be sure that Jones will go one better and get two new cars: one for his wife and one for himself . The most amusing thing about this game is that the Joneses and all the neighbours who are struggling frantically to keep up with them are spending borrowed money kindly provided, at a suitable rate of interest, of course, by friendly banks, insurance companies, etc.


  It is not only in affluent societies that people are obsessed with the idea of making more money. Consumer goods are desirable everywhere and modern industry deliberately sets out to create new markets. Gone are the days when industrial goods were made to last forever. The wheels of industry must be kept turning. "Built-in obsolescence" provides the means: goods are made to be discarded.Cars get tinnier and tinnier. You no sooner acquire this year's model than you are thinking about its replacement.


  This materialistic outlook has seriously influenced education. Fewer and fewer young people these days acquire knowledge only for its own sake . Every course of studies must lead somewhere: i. e. to a bigger wage packet. The demand for skilled personnel far exceeds the supply and big eompanies compete with each other to recruit students before they have completed their studies. Tempting salaries and "fringe benefits" are offered to them. Recruiting tactics of this kind have led to the "brain drain",the process by which highly skilled people offer their services to the highest bidder. The wealthier nations deprive their poorer neighbours of their most able citizens. While Mammon is worshipped as never before, the rich get richer and the poor, poorer.


　

II . Read
  Read the following passages. Underline the important viewpoints while reading.
     
                1. Wealth Led to Disaster

  In all American history, there is no story stranger than that of John A. Sutter. We have read about the early history of San Francisco. When the independence of California was declared in 1846, San Francisco was a small town of some 800 inhabitants. Then, in 1848, gold was discovered on land not far away. This land was owned by John A. Sutter.

Immediately, there was a vast movement of people, not only from the United States but from other parts of the world, toward San Francisco and.the gold fields. This was the famous Gold Rush of 1849. San Francisco grew to three times its size in just a few weeks. Within a year it had a population of over 25,000 people. Previously a quiet, pleasant town, San Francisco was changed almost overnight into a rough and crowded city, full of all kinds of adventurers and other strange characters. The same factors that operated to change San Francisce also changed the life of John A. Sutter in an equatly extreme form.


  John A. Sutter was a citizen of Switzerland. He had come, penniless, in the spirit of adventure to the United States. He lived and worked for a time in Pennsylvania and finally settled in California in 1839, when still a young man of thirty-six. He obtained the rights from the Mexican government to a large track of land in the present area of Sacramento, some seventy miles north of San Francisco on the Sacramento River. Here Sutter established his own private colony. This colony he named New Helvetia. Sutter was an intelligent, well-educated man. He built a fort, inside which he established a large trading post.

He planted great numbers of fruit trees along the banks of the Sacramento River, as well as hundreds of acres of wheat. He became a very rich man by providing most of the ships that .came to the harbour of San Francisco with supplies both for their own use a.nd for export. Sutter had thousands of cattle and horses on his many acres. Five hundred men, mostly Mexica.ns and Indians., worked regulaily for him. He wrote wrote to his wife and three sons, whom he had left in Switzerland, asking them to come and live with him and enjoy his great success.


  Then in 1848, gold was discovered on Sutter's land:-He was building a saw mill, some distance from his fort. Here, in a stream leading from the mill, one of Sutter's workmen found some pieces of gold. At first, Sutter tried to keep the news quiet. He had dreams of becoming even richer than he already was, perhaps the richest man in the whole world. But, within a few weeks, the news about the gold leaked out. Men descended upon Sutter's land from all directions.

Soon they were coming from all over the United States and even from more distant places. These people moved into the area like a great herd of animals. They killed all of Sutter's cattle, stole his farm produce and tools, and tore down his buildings to obtain wood to build homes for themselves. The city of Sacramento sprang up where Sutter's fort stood. On the site of his saw mill grew up the present city of Coloma.


  Far from becoming the richest man in the world, as he had dreamed, Sutter was reduced to poverty. He finally moved away from the area to a distant part of his land. Here his family arrived to live with him. He began to farm and, with his sons, planted more fruit trees and new fields of wheat. Again he was fairly successful. In 1855 Sutter brought a suit in the Californian courts against the l, 700 settlers, who now occupied the lands he had previously owned. He demanded  $ 25 million from the state for the roads, canals, and .bridges that he himsel'f had built but which the state had .taken over. He also asked for a percentage of all the gold mined an his property.

This suit was decided by the Californian courts in Sutter' s favour. Briefly, Sutter was agai.n a rich and important man. His dream of a private empire, with himself as king and ruler, returned. But then the storm broke again. When the judge's decision was made public, 1.0, 000 people, w,ho were now established in the area and thought they might lose their homes, descended upon the court. They burned the courthouse and tried to hang the judge. They destroyed more of Sutter's property. Later, Sutter's home was set on fire and burned to the g.round. Sutter' s oldest son killed himself; his second son was murdered.


  Sutter was never able to recover from these last and final blows. He went back east and, in the courts of Washington, again brought a suit to recover what he claimed had been stolen from him, He spent the last fifteen years of his life in this sad manner. Tirelessly, he went from senator to congressman, from one government office to another. Friends tried to heip him, ahd he received various honpurs in recognition of his early work in C.alifornia. But delay followed delay, hoth in Congress and in the government courts. The "General" as he came to be called, died alone in a small Washington hotel room, a broken and bitter man.



          2. What Did Qi Gong Do with His Money?

  Everyone knows how important money is in the world today. But what did Qi Gong do with his hard-earned one and a half million yuan?
  Mr Qi Gong, aged 79, is a well-known calligrapher in China. He became famous the hard way. Born in a poor family, he did not have much schooling until his talent attracted the attention of Professor Chen Yuan, the president of Furen University. For years Professor Chen took him under his personal care and taught him'literature and calligraphy. Professor Chen thought highly of Qi Gong and helped him to find jobs of teaching at several institutions.


  Years of hard work made Qi Gong an excellent teacher and outstanding calligrapher and painter.
  In memory of his teacher Professor Chen Yuan, Qi Gong decided in 1991 to set up a foundation to give awards to both teachers and students who excel in their work. Qi Gong worked day after day at his desk and produced more than 100 works of calligraphy, which he sold for 1, 630, 000 yuan. All this money went into the foundation which was namled after his teacher. He did not leave a penny for himself!
  What do you think money means to Qi Gong?



              3. Pop Stars I,ive Like the Royalty

  Pop stars today enjoy a style of living which was once the prerogative only of Royalty. Wherever they go, people turn out in their thousands to greet them. The crowds go wild trying to catch a brief glimpse of,their smiling, colourfully-dressed idols. The stars are transported in their chauffeur-driven Rolls-Royces, private helicopters or executive aeroplanes. They are surrounded by a permanent entourage of managers, press-agents and bodyguards.

Photographs of them appear regularly in the press and all their comings and goings are reported, for, like Royalty, pop stars are news. If they enjoy many of the privileges of Royalty, they certainly share many of the inconveniences as weil. It is dangerous for them to make unscheduled appearances in public. T hey must be constantly shielded from the adoring crowds which idolise them. Tbey are no longer private individuals, but public property. The financial
rewards they receive for this sacrifice cannot be calculated; for their rates of pay are astronomical.


  And why not? Society has always rewarded its top entertainers lavishly. The great days of Hollywood have become legendary: famous stars enjoyed fame, wealth and adulation on an unprecedented scale. By today's standards, the excesses of Hollywood do not seem quite so spectacular. A single gramophone record nowadays may earn much more in royalties than the films of the past ever did. The competition for the title "Top of the Pops" is fierce, but the rewards are truly colossal.



          4. "Pop Stars Certainly Earn Their Money"

  It is only right that the stars should be paid in this way. Don't the top men in industry earn enormous salaries for the services they perform to their companies and their countries'? Pop stars. earn vast sums in foreign currency-often more than large industrial concerns-and the taxman can only be grateful for their massive annual contributions to the exchequer. So who would begrudge them their rewards?


  It's all very well for people in humdrum jobs to moan about the successes and rewards of others. People who make envious remarks should remember that the most famous stars represent only the tip of the iceberg. For every famous star, there are hundreds of others struggling to earn. a living. A man working in a steady job and looking forward to a pension at the end of it has no right to expect very high rewards.

He has chosen security and peace of mind, so there will always be a limit to what he can earn. But a man who attempts to become a star is taking enormous risks. He knows at the outset that only a handful of competitors ever get to the very top. He knows that years of concentrated effort may be rewarded with complete failure. But he knows, too, that tlte rewards for success are very high.indeed: they are the recompense for the huge risks involved and if he achieves them, he has certainly earned them. That's the essence of private enterprise.



                5. Decent Beggars in Shanghai

  It was getting dark when the plane landed at Hongqiao Airport in Shanghai. A woman stepped out into a driving rain.
  "Madam, you must be from Beijing," a voice behind her said.
  Taking luggage from the woman' s hand, the man said, "The weather in the south is unpleasant, and it rains all the time. The rainy season is coming." He accompanied her out of the airport.


  The woman thought she was lucky to meet such a warm-hearted. young man. At the bus stop, she thanked him. "It's very. kind of you. I would be drenched through without your help." She said quite a lot to express her gratitude.
  However, to her surprise, the man stood there smiling and showing no intention of leaving. Glancing around, the woman noticed some passengers getting off the same plane with her were tipping the peopte who helped them. She got the hint, took out a five-yuan note and gave it to the man. Saying "Thanks a lot", he went away.


  The young man is just one of the estimated 500 "decent beggars", a name Shanghai residents have given these people. Often times, they will appear in groups in the railway station, airport, hospitals, scenic spots. Most of them are fashionably dressed, behave decently, and speak in a gentle way. They carefully observe their "customers", and from their expression, they try to figure out what their "customers" are thinking about. They will show sympathy for a patient sent to the hospital, with tears in their eyes. Tey will flatter the "customer" until he or she is deeply moved and gives them money in gratitude.


  On May 1, a family went to a park. Just as they entered, a young couple with smiles on their faces came up. The man talked first.
  "Look1 What a pleasant dayl It is very nice for the whole family to spend the holiday in the park," he said.
  The woman added, "We Shanghai people are often kept indoors by the rain. It is too bad for children in particular. On this fine day, it is quite good for your health to walk in the open."


  Then they began to flatter the.children, saying they were so beautiful and would be promising in the future. They predicated that the parents would enjoy a very happy life with wealthy and devoted sons and daughters. They did not stop talking until the mother gave them a 10yuan note. The mother did not feel sorry for giving the money. She said that she had bought good fortune with the money. Some people say it is this psychology that the "decent beggars" cater to in making money.



                    6. Nobel Prizes

  Once a year, at a special ceremony a few dist.inguished people are awarded Nobel Prizes. The founder of these prizes was Alfred Bernhard Nobel (1833-1896), a Swedish scientist.
  Nobel discovered the explosive called dynamite. This was much safer to use than earlier explosives. He made a large fortune from this and other di.scoveries and inventions. However, it saddened him that his explosives were so widely used for warfare.
  Nobel left mosi of his money. to establish five prizes. They are warded for services to physics, chemistry, physiology or medicine, literature, and peace. It is considered a very great honour to win one of these prizes.

Lesson 17

    Is Romantic Love the Most Important Condition for Marriage?

                          Text
 
                    Choosing a Spouse

  If you are young and unmarried, you must have in your mind the image of an ideal husband or wife. Most young people like to indulge in fantasies, and your image may ta.ke the form of a certain famous film star or pop singer. But if you are of a practical turn of mind; your "ideal" would be more down to earth, and your "image" would be modelled after what you see around you. Though images do not always coincide with realities (for after all, an ideal is an ideal), it is nevertheless an interesting subject for study, for it tells us what the young people expect from the present society.

  Dr. Li Yinhe of the Sociological Institute of Beijing University has made a study of a certain amount of matrimonial advertisements, and he found that the present generation of China put great emphasis on, in order of importance, (1) age, (2) height, (3) education as the three most important standards in choosing a spouse. Next comes (4) character and temperament, (5) profession, (6) marital status and personal history, (7) appearance and (8) health.


  Such order of emphasis is peculiarly Chinese. Other conditions such as religion, race and love, so important to people of other nations are completely missing in Dr. Li,s list. Many foreign scholars are also interested in the Chinese idea of an ideal spouse and they just can't understand why the Chinese men especially set so much store by "age" when they choose a spouse. A man of over forty would want a woman under thirty and a man of thirty would want his future spouse to be under twenty- five. One possible explanation is that youth is almost synonymous with beauty. At least the two words young and beautiful always go together. The Chinese people have not yet discovered mature beauty.


  Height definitely is uniquely Chinese in playing such an important role when people choose a spouse. To be eligible a man has to be at least 1.70m. in height. It is said that to a choosy girl, any man under 1. 70m. is considered a semiinvalid! So far no one has offered a satisfactory explanation to such a strange phenomenon.


  As to the third important condition, that of educational level, people find it a puzzle too, because in present day China education doesn't give you high social status, nor does it bring you good pay. Yet both sexes set a great store by it. The thing to notice is that a man with a university education is content to have a wife with senior middle school education while a woman with a university education would never consider a man with only a senior middle school education: Her husband has to be at least a university graduate too, preferably someone with a post-graduate degree.


  What conclusion can can we draw from all this? I think that in seeking a husband or wife, we Chinese have not yet freed ourselves from our feudal tradition of arranged marriages. Instead of having our marriages arranged by our parents, we now arrange our own marriages.In the old days stress was put on equal social and economic status of the two families, which was considered a condition of a good match.

Now love marriages boil4down to more or less the same thing, except that stress is no longer placed on the condition of the two families, but on the two individuals themselves. And conditions vary with the trend of the times. Not so long ago it was Party membership that was all important. A girl who was a Party member would not be satisfied with a man who was only a League member. He had to be at least a Party member, and preferably a Party member with a responsible position.
  In essence we are still selling ourselves to the highest hidder. To put it another way: We are still trying to get the best bargain with what capitai we have. Is it so much different from the old mercenary marriage?


II. Read
  Read the following passages. Underline the important viewpoints while reading.

              1. Husband and Wife by Arrangement.

  Yoshio and Hiromi Tanaka are a young Japanese couple living in the USA while he studies electrical engineering. They clearly love each other very deeply, but, says Yoshio, "We didn' t marry for love in the Western sense. We got married in the time-Itcanoured Japanese way. Our parents arranged our marriage through a matchmaker. ln Japan we believe that marriage is something that affects the whole family; not just tbe young couple concerned.

So we think it is very important to match people according to their social background, education and so on. Matchmakers are usually middle-aged women who keep lists of suitable young people with information about their families, education and interests. When our parents thought it was time for us to get married they went to a local matchmaker and asked her for some suggestions. We discussed the details.and looked at the photos sbe sent, and then our parents asked her to arrange a 'marriage interview, for the two of us."


  A Japanese marriage interview is held in a public place, such as a hotel or restaurant, and is attended by the boy and the girl,their parents and the matchmaker. Information about the couple and their families is exchanged over a cup of tea or a meal. Then the boy and the girl are left alone for a short time to get to know each other. When they return home they have to tell the matchmaker whether they want to meet again or not. If both of them want another meeting, the matchmaker arranges
it, and after that they can decide whether to carry on the coertship themselves. Here Hiromi said with a gentle sinile, "Not so long ago, the girl could never rcfuse to go out again with a boy who liked her, but now she can. I thought Yoshio was really rather nice, so I didn't refuse."


  Yoshio continued: "When our parents realized we were serious about each other, they started to make arrangements for our wedding. My family paid the `Yuino' money to Hiromi's. This is money o help. pay for the wedding ceremony and for setting up house afterwards. We also gave her family a beautiful ornament to put in the best room of their house, so everyone knew that Hiromi was going to marry. Six months after our first meeting we were married. A traditional Japanese wedding is a wonderful ceremony, and our traditional custom of arranged marriages
has given me a wonderful wife."

　

              2. Husband and Wife by Airmail

  "You must be mad, " his friends said, as thirty-year-old John Briggs of Hatfield left London Airport to fly to Brazil. John was going half-way round the world to meet a girl he'd never seen but hoped to marry. The trip was costing him three months' pay-in fact he' d had to borrow from his father and an aunt to buy his ticket-and he had no idea whether the pretty dark-haired girl he only knew from photographs and letters would even like him. "I' d had a good life as a bachelor," says John, four years later, his arm round his wife and their two lovely children, "but I felt something was missing. I had a good job, my own house and plenty of friends.

I'd had plenty of girlfriends too, but somehow no one ever seemed quite the right girl for me. Then one day I was looking through a magazine during my lunch hour when a photograph of a pretty girl caught my eye. It was part of an advertisement for a World Penfriends Circle. I decided to write off to them immediately. All my friends had a good laugh, I remember."


  John received the names of four girls, two. from Japan, one from Finland, and one from Brazil, and wrote to all of them, enclosing a photograph of himself, The last to reply was Maria from Brazil, but it was Maria who came to take first place in John's heart. They wrote to each other for a year, Maria in Portuguese and John in English- all the letters had to be translated-and then one of Maria's uncles came to Fngland on a business trip. Maria had asked him to arrange a meeting with John and report back to Brazil on what her English penfriend was really like. The uncle said that John was "a fat little fellow without much hair", but he must. have said some nicer things too, for Maria's parents wrote to John inviting him to visit their family. John replied saying he'd love to.


  A practical man, John started to get organized. As soon as he had the money for his air ticket he wrote to Maria asking her what her views on getting married were. He also sent an engagement ring, and a Valentine card every day! Maria wrote back to say they could decide whether to get married or not once they met-but she started making a wedding dress of beautiful white silk, just in case...


  The day John was due to arrive Maria waited anxiously at the airport. Suppose h?didn't like her? But when his plane came in she didn't. even recognize himl Her uncle had to point him out. "He was the man with the nicest smiie, " says Maria, "and he was just the right height for me! " They both realized immediately that they were just right for each other in lots of oth.cr ways too. Ten days later they were married and Maria came io live in England with her husband---"the best thing that's ever come to me through the post?she says.



              3. Husband and Wife for ￡45 Eacb

  Attractive Kay Knight is expecting her first baby in a few months' time. She smiled happily at her husband Mike as she told us their story. "I woke up on my thirty-fifth birthday thinking, 'Help. I'm turning into a real old spinster schoolteacher. ' All my. friends seemed to be married with homes and families of their own. But where was I? I love my job-don't get me wrong. I've had a very satisfying career, but teaching other people' s children isn' t the same as bringing up your own."She'll make a wonderful mother," said Mike. "I can't think why she wasn't snapped up years ago. But I'm glad she wasn't, or I wouldn't have found her."


  How did they find each other? "Well," said Kay, "as a young woman I'd had a few boyfriends, but never anything serious. Then I realized I wasn't even meeting any men, not unmarried ones anyway. So I took a deep breat6 and wrote to a Marriage Bureau. " Iiay ha d to fill in a detailed form and then attend an interview. "It was very thorough, " she said. "They really wanted to make sure I was serious about wanting to get married, and they took a lot of trouble to find out what kind of person I was and the sort of man I thought I'd like to marry. I was told I'd be given three introductions to suitable men for a fee of ￡15. If I married one of them, I'd have to pay another ￡30. The first introduction was to another teacher, which she didn't think was a good idea, but the second was to Mike.

　


  Mike took up the story. "I got married when I was a young man of 22, but my wife was killed a year later in a car accident. I was completely shattered. I put all my energies into m.y work and spent many years abroad with my firm. Then I came back to England. to work at Head Office and realized how empty my life had become. 1 didn't just want to work; I wanted a wife and children. I needed someone to make my house into a home. I wasn't interested in young girls, but how cowld I find a mature, loving woman to share my life? I think my sister and brother-in-law must have g,uessed how I was feeling. They introduced me to a charming older couple one evening. After they'd. gone home I remarked how well-suited they seerned and my sister told me why--they'd met through a Marriage Bureau. `You should give it a try,' she said. So I did."


  Mike phoned a bureau the very next day and went for an interview the following week. He was given three names, including Kay's. He wrote to her first because he thought a school-teacher would probably like ch:ildren. Their first date was a disaster. "We agreed to meet for a picnic and it poured with rain, " he told us. "But we both saw the funny side of it, and from then on everything went right." Within'a month o# their first meeting he proposed and they got engaged. The wedding took place a year ago. "Speaking as a businessman, " said Mike, "this is the best deal I've ever made!"



                4. Dating Pattens in the USA

  In the traditional dating pattern in the United States,much of the responsibility for a date falls to the young man. In this pattern, the young man must first call fhe girl he wishes to date on the telephone. Usually, this call is made quite early in a week. Most girls iwtraditional dating relationships expect to get a telephone call from a young man by Wednesday. Most dating occurs on weekends. Many young ,people do not have to get up early for school or work on Saturday and Sunday mornings, so Friday nights and Saturday nights are popular nights for dates. The young man must ask the girl for the date, and suggest some things that they might.do together. It is usually up to the young man to pay for all of the evening's activities.


  There are many things to do on dates. Many young people enjoy going to sports events, such as football and baseball games. These games may occur at a high school, college, or in a large sports arena in a city. A very popular place for young people to go on dates is the movies. Almost everyone enjoys a good movie, and almost every town has at least one movie theater. Young people may also enjoy going to a night club or coffee house. Here, they may listen to music and dance, and perhaps meet some of their friends. These are a few of the things young people do on dates in the United States.


  In some parts of the United States, traditional dating relationships begin when young people are in high school. In other places, young people do not go out in couples until they are in college, or in their early twenties. Some young men would rather go out with just one girl all of the time. Every Saturday night, a young man will go out with the same girl. Many girls enjoy this kind of relationship also. It gives both the boy and the girl a chance to get to know one another quite well. Sometimes, this may lead to marriage. Other young people enjoy dating different individuals. One week they may go out with one person, the next week with another. They get to know many people this way, and may not wish to have a serious relationship with just one person.


  Many young people in the United States, especially college students, do not go out on either of these traditional dates. Instead, they go out on group dates. In this kind of dating pattern, small groups of young people go out together. All of the people in the group are usually friends, but some of the people in the group may not know each other. No one young man is with any particular girl. They are all together
as part of the group. This is very different from the traditional date.


  A group date differs from a traditional date in several ways. First, there are no special relationships in the group. No particular girl and boy are together all the time. Second, the group date may occur on a weekend, but it may not be planned in advance. A group of young people may decide on Saturday afternoon that they want to spend Saturday evening together. They may all decide to go to a movies or to some other event. On a group date, no one is paired with anyone else. As a result, every person pays for his or her own expenses. This means that the girls must pay for themselves. They must pay their own admission for the movies, for a cup of coffee, or for anything else that costs money during the date.


  Many young people find the group date to be a great deal of fun. The young men on a group date are under no pressure. They do not have to be with any particular girl during the evening. They do not have to pay for anyone but themselves. They do not have to be especially polite or formal during the date. Everyone can relax and have a good time. Group dates may lead to serious relationships for some members of the group. Maybe a girl and boy on a group date find that t6ey have a lot in common and enjoy being together. They may spend more time together, with the group, and with each other. But usually, everyone on a group date is just interested in a good time. No one worries about a serious relationship.


  The group date may be good for very young people. They may not know what kind of person they like. They may like to spend their time with many different people. But it also does not give young people a chance to have a serious relationsh:p. A serious relationship can help a young person in many ways. A person may learn what is good and what is bad about a serious relationship. Usually, in dating, young people find out what kind of person they would like to marry. If a young person always goes on group dates, there is no chance to find out. As we can see, group dates have their good points and their drawbacks.


  The group date is very different from the traditional date, don't you think? Young people in the United States today enjoy both of these types of relationships. Traditional dating relationships give young people a chance to get to know one another quite well. Group dates give young people a chance to get to know many other young people and to have a more relaxed evening. Both kinds of dates have their good points. The group date is a.relatively new idea among young people. It.seems to be popular for the reasons described here.

                  5. Courtship Customs

Did you know
that most British couples first meet at a dance?
that in some parts of Africa. men pay for their wives with cows?
that in Germany you can advertise for a partner on television?
that in Britain girls can propose in Leap Year ( 1976, I980 and every fourth year following)?
that in the USA boys and girls start dating very young, as young as 12?



                6. Marriage : East and West

  "I believe," said Dr. Samuel Johnson in the eighteenfh century, "that marriages would in general be as happy, and often more so, if they were all made by the Lord Chancel'lor, upon a due consideration of the characters and circumstances, without the partners having any choice in the matter."
  We are bound to acknowledge, after a careful study of the methods of mate selection in the East and West, that the great Dr. Johnson was probably perfectly right.
  From one extreme to the other, four patterns of mate selection may be distinguished.


  1. Selection by the parents - the young people themselves not consulted. This is the traditional method employed in the East. When the choice is carefully and wisely made, it is usually a good one.But it is open to the grave errors caused by ignorance and exploitation.
  2. Selection by the parents, but the young People consulted . This is an improvement on the first method, provided the young people are allowed to make the final decision. In some communities, though they are formally consulted, they are expected to accept the choice made for them, and have no real freedom to express their minds.


  3. Selection by the young people, but parental approvdl necessary. This pattern exhibits at least two forms. The strictest is the one in which no action may be taken by the young people until they bave been given parental permissiop to proceed. A good example is the early American Quaker father in the eighteenth century, who was approached by a neighbour's son John asking his permission to court his daughter Sarah. Unless John was approved by Sazah's father in the first place, no further
step could be taken. But even if her father approved of John, Sarah still had the right to refuse him.


  The other variation is where Sarah could encourage John's attentions without seeking her father's permission; but if she and John became serious, her father's approval was essential before marriage could take place. If he used his veto, she had to give up John-or elope!


  4. Selection by the young people - the parents not consulted. This is the method which is becoming widespread in the West today. The couple may be living away from home, and unable to consult their parents. But even when the parents are formally consulted, all too often their agreement is a mere formality. They know that, even if they raise objections, the marriage is likely to take place anyway.
  Which of these methods is most desirable?


  We would reject the first. Even if it is efficient, we believe it denies to young people a freedom that should be theirs by right. This is the position being widely adopted in the East today.
  We would also reject the last. Young people should not be dominated
by their parents in this matter. But neither should their parents be left entirely out of the picture. The experience of parents can often correct and restrain the headstrong and distorted choices of inexperienced youth. The kind of freedom young people in the West today are demanding is unreasonable, and undesirable in their own best interests.


  The desirable ideal, we believe, is a cooperative selection by young people and parents together. This may not always be easily achieved.But it is worth the effort that may be needed. It creates unity in ihe family. It balances out the intense feelings of youth against the detached judgement of more mature experience. It offers, we believe, the best basis for successful marriages - especially if backed by scientific knowledge accumulated by study and research.


  At the present time, the East.is moving steadily towards the ideal of cooperation between parents and young people. But the West is moving further away from it, as young people increasingly ignore their parents' opinions. However, there is some compensation in the fact that the results of study:and research concerning the criteria of good mate selection are being made available increasingly to Western youth.


       
                  7. Marry - for What?

  I'm afraid it is in the nature of an agony aunt's job that she is more concerned with failures than with triumphs. Nevertheless, these past years, I've also noticed something of the pattern that leads to success in married life.
  I've seen, for instance, that making a marriage work begins long before making a marriage. It begins with a girl who thinks less about marriage than girls have traditionally done, and more about herself in relationship to work and to her community. The very first trick to a happy marriage is to become a person of independence and pride who does not imagine a husband is necessary to make her magically complete.


  Whenever I get a letter from a woman who says she "cannot live without" the man who is breaking her' heart, I am compelled to tell her that successful partnerships are not between those who cannot live without each other, but bet.ween those who can live with each other. There is no room even in daydreams for the stupid idea that there is on earth only one mate intended for another.


  To my surprise I have found this antique misconception is still alive and it creates a lazy superstition that has caused more than one marriage to fail. How can anyone who believes her union was "meant to be", not equally believe it was "not meant to be" at the first sign of trouble? Whether or not a marriage was "meant to be" is beside the point; it is and therefore it requires patience and protection.
  Passion is great outside marriage, but not so hot inside it. So why do we marry? For love? Oh yes. Friendship? Certainly. Children? Why not? Money? Dodgy. Fun? Never.


  For most young people-and a lot of older ones-marriage is the first adult commitment, and if it is to succeed it must be undertaken in an adult way. It isn't a bad idea for engaged couples to write out the sort of contract any other working partnership would demand, specifying how many children they want to have and when, where they will live, how they will divide household duties, which in-laws might become liabilities and what to do about th.em, how much money will be coming in, as well as precisely how it will go out.


  I don't pretend any couple would abide by such a contract, but simply in drawing it up they would find out a great deal about each other's unromantic expectations, for these-not sex or fidelity or love -are tlne real marriage wreckers. It is alarming, for instance, how many women race into a lifelong contract with a man whose income and earning power they do not know. Do they still expect Daddy to find out for them?


  Of course, there is only one way to treat any problem inside marriage, sexual or otherwise, and it is the way to treat all the other problems: talk to each other.
  But how many times has a woman written to me--a complete stranger-of a deep misery that she could not tell her husband, or that she failed even to catch his attention? There must arrive an egly momcni between every husband and wife-maybe it's a quarrel or a disappoinrment or a hurt-and if that moment drops without discussion and sinks into brooding or resentment, then it will be the seed that comes in the end to bear bitter fruit.


  Admittedly, it is largely women who write to me and I do see marriage from a woman's point of view. But in this freezing of communication, I think it is often men who are the culprits. Men must talk about their feelings and men must respect the validity of women's feelings, or their marriages become just a way of getting their shirts ironed.


  " When agony aunts like me talk about "working at a marriage", listening is what we mean. Listening is hard work, especially when it is to something we would rather not hear. There is no such thing as a marriage of convenience. Marriage is a cumbersome, inconvenient alliance, but it. is the only way we have of making families and therefore anyone who undertakes it has a responsibility to it. Part of the wife's responsibility is never, never to expect more from "us" Chan she expects from herself.