Lesson 20

                What Does Friendship Mean to You?

                              Text A
Mr Brooks, Martin, Robert and Jean are being interviewed on subject of friendship. Mr BROOKS:   I consider friendship to be one of the most important things in
  life-whatever your status, married or single. I see too many lonely people
  around. A lot of us get so involved with material values, family problems,
  'keeping up with the Joneses,' etc. , that we forget the real meaning
  of friendship.
INTERVIEWER:   Which is what., according to you?
R BROOKS:   They say `a friend in need is a friend.indeed' which is partly true, but a  
  real friend should also be able to share your happy moments- without feeling
  jealous. A good friendship is one where you accept and forgive faults,
  understand moods, and don't feel hurt if a friend doesn't feel like seeing
  you. Of course, honesty is an essential part of any reIationship. We
  should learn to accept our friends for what they are.
INTERVIEWER:   As a married man, do you find your frier ships are only with other men?
MR BROOKS:   Of course not! Both my wife and I have m and women friends-thank goodness.  
  ALthouhg family life is fulfilling, it isn't nough! Both my wife and I get
  tremendc satisfaction from our friends, married a single, male and
  female-and we both ha our separate friends too. We'd get bored with each
  other if we had the same friends!
INTERVIEWER:   You must have a full life.
MR BROOKS:   We certainly do! And as I say, our friends give us a lot of pleasure. After
  all, friends should not be people with whom .you kill time. Real friendship,
  in my opinion, is a 'spiritually developing' experience.(Martin, Robert and
  Jean are being interviewed on the subject of friendship. )
INTERVIEWER:   How important are friends to you, Martin?
MARTIN:   I've never had a lot of friends. I've never regarded them as particularly
  important.Perhaps that's because I come from a big famil Two brothers
  and three sisters. And lots cousins. And that's what's really important me.
  My family. The different members of my family. If you really need help,
  you get from your family, don't you? Well, at least that's what I've always
  found.
INTERVIEWER:   What about you, Jean?
JEAN:   To me friendship... having friends, people I know I can really count on...
  to me that's the most important thing in life. It's more important even than .
  love If you love someone, you can always fall out of love again , and that
  can leadto a lot of hurt feelings , bitterness, and so on. But a good a
  friend is a friend for life.
INTERVIEWER:   And what exactly do you mean by a friend?
JEAN:   Well, I've alreadys said, someone you know you can count on. I suppose what I
  really mean is... let's see, how am I going to put this . . . it's someone who
  wili help you if you need help, who'il listen to you when you talk about you
  problems... someone you can trust.
INTERVIEWER:   What do you mean by a friend, Robert?
ROBERT:   Someone who likes the same things that you
  do, who you can argue with and not lose your temper, even if you don't always
  agree about things. I mean someone who you don't have to talk to
  all the time but can be silent with perhaps. That's important, too.
  You can just sit together and not say very much sometimes. Just relax.
  I don't like people who talk all the time.
INTERVIEWER:   Are you very good at keeping in touch with your friends if you don't see
  them regularly?
ROBERT:   No, not always. I've lived in lots of piaces,
  and , to be honest , once I move away I often do drift out of touch with my or
  friends. And I'm not a very good letter writer, either. Never have been. But
  I know that if I saw those friends again, if I ever moved back to the same
  place, for some other reason we got back into close contact again, I'm sure
  the friendship would be just as strong as it was before.
JEAN:   Several of my friends have moved away, got married, things like that. One    
  of my friends has had a baby recently, and I'll admit I don't see her or
  hearfrom her as much as I uesd to.... She lives in another neighbourhood and  
  whenI phone her, she always seems busy. But that's an exception. I write a
  lot of letters to my friends and get a lot of letters from them. I have a
  friend I went to school with and ten years ago she emigrated to Canada,
  but she still writes to me every mom and I write to her just as often.


                            Text B

                      A Friend in Need of Help

  You and Sol have been friends for over fifteen years. You went to high school together and now work in the same company pany. For the past several months , Sol has been very irritable and at times has shown his emotions by openly criticizing the company and some of his fellow workers. Most of the people in the office know that he sometimes drinks too much when he feels depressed about some of his personal and family problems.


  But recently Sol made a very nasty personal comment which hurt'one of the people in the office. No one said anything to him, but it was obvious that many people were angry at what he said and now have little sympathy for him .


  You are beginning to wonder whether you should say something to Sol. You don't consider him your best friend, but he might possibly lose his job because you didn't try to help him. On the other hand, you don't know whether Sol would think that you were interfering in his privatu iife by talking about his personal problems.
  What would you do in this situation?


                    Additioaal Information

  In fact, studies of friendship seem to implicate more eomplex factors. For exampte, one function friendship seems to futfil is that it supports the image we have of ourselves, and confirms the value of the attitudes we hold. Certainly we appear to project ourselves onto our friends; several studies have shown that we judge them to be more like us than they (objectively) are.

This suggests that we ought to choose friends who are similar to us ( 'birds of a feather' ) rather than those who would be complementary ( 'opposites attract' ) , a prediction which is supported by empirical evidence , at least so far as attitudes and beliefs are concerned. In one experiment, some developing friendships were monitored amongst first-year students living in the same hostel.

It was found that similarity of attitudes (towards politics, religion and ethics, pastimes and aesthetics) was a good predictor of what friendships would be established by the end of four months, though it had less to do with initial alliances - not surprisingly, since attitudes may not be obvious on first inspection.


  There have also been studies of pairings, both voluntary (married couples) ples ) and forced (student roommates ) , to see which remained together and which split up. Again, the evidence seems to favour similarity rather than complementarity as an omen of a successful relationship, though there is a complication: where marriage is concerned, once the field has been narrowed down to potential mates who come from similar backgrounds and share a broad range of attitudes and values, a degree of complementarity seems to become desirable.

When a couple are not just similar but almost identical, something else seems to be needed. Similarity can breed contempt; it has also been found that when we find others obnoxious, we dislike them more if they are like us than when they are dissimilar!


  The difficulty of linking friendship with similarity of personality probably reflects the complexity of our personalities: we have many facets and therefore require a disparate group of friends to support us. This of course can explain why we may have two close friends who have little in common, and indeed dislike each other. By and large, though, it looks as though we would do well to choose friends (and spouses) who resemble us. If this were not so, computer dating agencies would have gone out of business years ago.

Lesson 21

                    Why Are They So Unlucky?
                            Text A

  I wonder why so many shop-assistants are so foultempered? Inspite of so many "campaigns" to improve the services in the past years, we see no appreciable change so far. If Dad and Mum are to be believed, the services used to be quite good in the fifties. But then, they always say everything used to be good in the fifties. I find the older people grow, the more nostalgic they become.

Now Granny never lets a day go by without remi-niscing on the good old things in the good old days . Once when she saw Xiao Hong and me eating some mooncakes with relish, she said pityingly, "You poor children, you don't know what real mooncakes taste like. The worst in the old tasted much better than the best that rnoney can buy nowadays!" We burst out laughing, not taking her words seriously.


  Now to come back to the bad service in shops and department stores. People often say that when you buy something, you are spending money to buy rudeness and anger. Today I saw a loing exactly that. I was at a department store and I happened to witness a typical quarrel. I was next to a counter selling tea and I saw an elderly man come up and ask a young woman was busy weighing and wrapping tea into standard-sized "packs "Do you have very good green tea?"


  The woman glanced up to size him up. He was ordinarily dressed and spoke with a provincial accent. obviously a man of no consequence. She went on with her work and the man had to repeat his question. After another pause the woman snorted out: "Yes: Twenty-six yuan a liang. " Not believing his ears, the man tried to correct her. "You mean twenty-six yuaw a jin?" Upon this the woman flared up and shouted: "I said twenty-six yuan a LIANG ! Can't you hear straight? If you want a jin, then it's two hundred and sixty yuan. Is that CLEAR?"


  The man seemed to be stunried by her sudden outburst but he kept his temper and asked again. "Do you have some thing under two yuan' a Liang?" Obviously she was makinj things difficult for the old man for she answered as rudely as be fore;"What do you mean under two yuan? Anything from on cent to one yuan ninety-nine cents is under two yuan. " I don't remember what exaetly the man said , but somehow he manage to find out there was a kind costing one yuan ninety-six a liang "Can you show it to me?"


  "Do you want to buy it or not?"
  "Well, I want to look at the leaves and smell the flavoc first. " "You can look , smell , eat , drink or do whatever you like with it at home. Here I only sell tea. If you want to buy it, buy it. If you can't afford it, don't come here to waste people's time Obviously you don't know what is proper in Beijing ! "


  "Look here young lady, it's you who don't know what proper! I have been living in Beijing long before you were born, and I've never seen anyone as rude as you are. Your job is to serve the customers , not to insult them. Now for the last time are you going to show me the tea or not?"
  "And for the last time I am telling it to you. Either buy it or get out of here! I know the likes of you-you want something good, and yet grudge the money you have to spend on it!"


  "This is insufferable 1 Who is in charge here? I want to see your head ! " "My head? It's on my shoulders. Take a good look if you want to. "
  The old man went away fuming. "I've got down your number ber. I'll write to the Evening News. " The threat didn't seem to frighten the girl. At most she'll have to make a self-criticism, which costs her nothing. Even if she should lose a month's bonus, it is only a few yuan. But if she could be sacked, I bet she wouldn't dare to be so rude and aggressive.


                            Text B

  All the housewives who went to the new supermarket had one great ambition: to be the lucky customer who did not have to pay for her shopping. For this was what the notice just inside the entrance promised. It said; "Remember, once a week, one of our customers gets free goods. This may be your lucky day ! "


  For several weeks Mrs Edwards hoped , like many of her friends, to be the lucky customer. Unlike her friends, she never gave up hope. The cupboards in her kitchen were full of things which she did not need. In vain her husband tried to dissuade suade her. She dreamed of the day when the manager of the supermarket
would approach her and say:"Madam, this is your lucky day. Everything in your basket is free. "


  One Friday morning, after she had finished her shopping and had taken it to her car, she found that she had forgotten to buy any tea. She dashed back to the supermarket, got the tea
and went towards the cashdesk. As she did so, she saw the manager of the supermarket approaeh her. "Madam" , he said, holding out his handzs, "I want to congratutate you! You are our lucky customer and everything you have in your hasket is free!"



                    Additional Information

  Three times a man in his early 30s approached Shen Limin's clothes counter in the Baihua Garment Store on busy Xidan Street in central Beijing.
  The first time Shen showed him the various garments. He left but returned a while later and stood there staring at a skirt. Then he went away again, but came back after a few minutes.


  Curious, Shen asked, "Why don't you buy that skir since you love it so much?"
  The man said that he really wanted to, but the 198-yuan price was too much for him. She suggested that he choose something cheaper, but he replied that the skirt was what his wife would like most.


  They started talking and he told her he bought his wife a gift every year in celebration of their wedding anniversary. Shen was so moved that she offered the skirt to him for 130 yuan, the wholesale price.
  When the man hesitated in surprise, she told h'sm, "I do that simply because
you are a good husband. "


  As a divorcee, Shen, 35, spoke from the depths of her heart.
  She could not imagine any husband being so considerate or tender.
  Her failure in marriage and her divorce three years ago scared her away men and prompted her to resign from her job as a log keeper in a film studio and become a self-employed garment seller.
  What makes Shen unusual is that she make money to help deserted ids.
  Her love of children and her sympathy for the wretched stemmed fiom the day her six-year-old younger brother was crushed to death in a mishap in a warehouse near her home.


  Her sympathetic nature kept her marriage together for seven years.
  Her husband had been a clarinet player in an army band. A go-between had introduced them. One cold snowy night they deeided to get married. He had been walking her home and kept darting into shops. She grew impatient thinking he was merely wanting to buy cigarettes and she stomped off. But he ran after her and presented her with a gauze mask he had bought. for her to help keep out the cold.


  His thoughtfulness moved her to tears. He said that perhaps they should break up since she cotild not understand him. "I will marry you if that can atone for my mistake," Shen said she responded. And so the matter was sealed.
The death of a bosom fiiend seven years later marked the beginning of the end for Shen and her husband.


  As the friend lay dying of heart disease. 20 days after giving birth to a son-a pregnancy she had risked because her husband was the only son of hi, family-she asked Shen to care for the child.
  Shen promised she would, even though she had a son of her own. Her husband was strongly opposed, however. Still. Shen would often go to see the child, who was living in his grandmother's home.


  "I felt guilty when I saw the child wearing dirty clothes," Shen said." I thought the child would not have been like that had his mother been alive. "
  When the grandparents decided to send the boy to friends in Tianjin, Shen wanted to adopt him. Her husband then moved out and said he wanted a divorce.
  Shen went to Tianjin to look for the child and found him. But the family refused to give the boy up. Shen would not leave until she was convinced the child was being kindly treated and properly cared for.


  Her years of marriage had given Shen a comfortable life-style but that was all, she said. The divorce made her realize'she had feelings and ambitions again.
  Shen had once dreamed of becoming a film actress, and tried out for roles but only ended up with bit parts. She fared better on the stage with amateur troupes. But her dreams were shattered when she was refused admission to a professional art school because of her age. She was too old to learn how to act , she was told.


  New dreams filled the void of her disappiontment. She turned to helping children. She wrote to the SOS Village in Tianjin, a home for orphaned children, applying for a job as a nurse. But she was turned down because she had a son.
  She still wanted to help children but did not know how. Finding a way to make money became a practical and urgent problem. Eerly last year she started her own business as a clothing dealer, setting up a stall in west Beiing.


  Her mother did not like the idea and felt it would be bad fos.her grandson to be brought up in such an environment. She threatened to smash the stall, but gradually Shen won her over.
  "I don't want my son to follow my example," she said. " expect a lot of him. "
  She still maintains contact with her friend's son in Tianjin.


  She moved to Xidan this summer when the new Baihua Garment store pened. She now has two assistants , one of them a university graduate.
  Shen said that her business life has made her a different woman, one vho is independent and full of confidence. Friends try to get her to date but she is not interested.
  At first, she said, her distaste of marriage or love affairs was so strong that she cut her hair short and wore men's clothes.


  "I am afraid of falling in love." Shen said with a bitter smile.
  She daubts whether she eauld be a good wife , saying she woutd better as a friend or companion.
  Many of her customers have become friends. To one frequent calkr, she is Sister Shen.
  "I really love my customers," Shen said. "I do my business for the sake
of love. "      

Lesson 22

                      Tell Us About Your Hobbies

                            Text A


JOHN:   What I like most, I suppose, is the fact that it's so unusual. I mean, when I
  tell people what I do,they just look at me usually as if I'm mad.Maybe I am,
  anyway what I do is this. I get up about a quarter past six every morning.
  I leave my wife in bed because she's not as mad as me - and I put my trunks
  on under under tracksuit and drive down to
  the park with my clothes in a case. It only takes about five minutes .because      
  there's no traffic of course at that time in the morning. So, when I get there
  I leave the car in the car park and run round a bit.I usually run for about ten
  minutes till I'm nice and warm, then comes the interesting bit. I run over to
  the car,get my case and then over to the pool. I take my tracksuit off and -in
  I jump. It's pretty cold I can tell you especially in the middle of winter-but
  I do a coupte of quick lengths and then I climb out, get changed and drive
  home, I just get back in time for breakfast - and I normally feel I've earned
  it too.
　

JACK:   Well, it's very detailed work you see, but I find it very relaxing. It's  
  strange I suppose that something like this where you have to concentrate a
  lot can be relaxing
  ing, but you see in my job I'm always making decisions and telling people what    
  to do but I never actuplly see what I've done. This is completely different.
  You see, here I'm actually making something myself. I start with a kite,
  usually it's got all the basic materials in it. Then you have to cut out all
  the shapes from the wood and stick them together. When you've made the frame,
  the wings and the fuselage, that is, you cover them with special paper and
  paint. Of course if it's going
  to fly properly, everything has to be properly balanced, you know.. I must say
  really though. I think I enjoy actaually making them more than flying them.
　

JANE:   Well in a sense I suppose I do it to save money. I mean things are so
  incredibly .expensive in the shops nowadays days, aren't they? But that's not
  the only reason really
  No, the beautiful thing is that you can make what you want when you want-and in    
  material you've chosen. I mean you don't have to depend on some paris designer
  to say what is fashionable. If you like an idea you see then of course you
  can copy it , but it gives you much more independence to do it yourself.
  I mean obviously it takes time , but I enjoy it , and with a sewing machine
  it doesn't take all that long to make even quite complicated things. And then
  finally you know that you've got something really unique. Especially if it's
  something you've designed yourself.
　

HARRY:   Well, it gives me the chance to be alone-and for me that's really the most It    
  important thing I suppose,after being with crowds of people all week.
  gives you time to think, you know. And another thing is that it gets me
  out of doors. I suppose it isn't very energetic really after all. I mean you
  don't do very much except just sit there, but at least it's in the fresh air.
  And that's more than you can say for things like darts, isn't it? No,
  that's really what I like about it.I like having time to think in the open air.
  I'm not terribly keen on the man against animal bit, you know man
  the hunter against nature. No, actually I don t usually catch very many you
  know. And if I do, I always throw them straight back.


                            Text B

JEFF:   What's on the telly this evening? I feel like relaxing.
MARY:   Why ask me that? You know I never watch it.
JEFE:   Too busy with the latest hobby, are you? What is it this time, knitting socks
  for your nephews? Or collecting buttons? I wish I had as much free time as
  you do.
MARY:   Men! As a matter of fact, you probably have more than I do. But you waste it
  all watching your telly.
JEFF:   That's not a waste of time. I've got to rest sometimes.
MARY:   Sometimes , maybe , but not all the time. And anyway ,I relax with my hobbies.
  A change is as good as a rest.
JEFF:   Well, the telly's my hobby, and I learn a lot from it.
MARY:   But it doesn't teach you to do anything, does it? You ust sit there and stare
  at it. That's not lerning.
JEFF:   But I do learn. There are lots of educational programmes.
MARY:   But you don't watch them, do you? Whenever an educational
  programme comes on, you eithes switch ove to the other channel or go to sleep.
JEFF:   When I come home from work. I need to put my feet up, at least for a while.
  Life's not all work, you know.
MARY:   Hobbies aren't work, Jeff. I like putting my feet up, too, at the end of the
  day,but I like doing things while I rest. Life's too short for us to waste time.
JEFF:   Mary dear, as I've said many times, we're different. There are two kinds of
  people in the world. . .
MARY:   I know, I know. Those who are never happy unless they're running about doing
  things. . .
JEFF:   That's right, and those who are never happy unless they're doing nothing. I'm
  one of the latter and you. . .
MARY:   I know, dear. I'm one of the former. And proud of it.
JEFF:   So now we agree. Live, and let live. You can go peacefully back to your -button
  collection, and I can watch TV.
MARY:   If only you organised yourself better, there's so much you could do, really.
  You're wasting your talents. And one last thing I'm not collecting buttons.
JEFF:   What are you doing then? Making sculptures from potatoes?
MARY:   No, I'm learning how to make Turkish cakes, and the first ones came out very well.
  Of course, if you're too tired, I won't insist on you trying them.

　

                    Additional lnformation

  A hobby can be almost anything a person likes to do in his spare time. Hobbyists raise pets, build model ships, weave baskets, or carve soap figures.They watch birds, hunt animals, climb mountains, raise flowers, fish, ski, skate, and swim. Hobbyists also paint pictures, attend concerts and plays, and perform on musical instruments. They collect everything from books to butterflies, and from shells to stamps.


  People take up hobbies because these activities offer enjoyment, friendship, knowledge, and relaxation. Sometimes they even yield financial profit. Hobbies help people relax after periods of hard work, and provide a balance between work and play. Hobbies also offer interesting activities for persons who have retired. Anyone, rich or poor, old or young, sick or well, can follow a satisfying hobby, regardless of his age, position, or income.


  Hobbies can help a person's mental and physical health. Doctors have found that hobbies are valuable in helping patients recover from physical or mental illness. Hobbies give bedridden or wheel-chair patients something to do, and provide interests that keep them from thinking about themselves. Many hospitals treat patients by having them take up interesting hobbies or pastimes.


  In early times, most people were too busy making a living to have many hobbies. But some persons who had leisure did enjoy hobbies. The ancient Egyptians played games with balls made of wood, pottery, and papyrus. some Greeks and Romans collected miniature soldiers.


  People today have more time than ever before for hobbies. Machines and automation have reduced the amount of time they must spend on their jobs. Hobbies provide variety for workers who do the same monotonous tasks all day long. More people are retiring than ever before, and at an earlier age. Those who have developed hobbies never need to worry about what to do with their newly-found leisure hours.


  Sir William Osler, a famous Canadian doctor, expressed the value of hobbies by saying, "No man is really happy or safe without a hobb.y, and it makes precious little difference what the outsidc interest may be-botany, bcetles, or butterflies; roses, tulips, or irises: fishing, mountaimeering, or antiques - anything will do so long as he straddles a hobby and rides it hard. "

Lesson 23

                          All For a Son

                            Text A

  The desire for a son and heir is common to all mankind. In our country, especially, to have as many male descendents as possible has always been regarded as the greatest blessing in life. The failure to produce a male heir was considered the most unfilial of all unfilial crimes. A man was justified to cast away his wife and take another if she failed to bear him a son. For the rich, the problem could be solved by taking a concubine or several concubines.

  All traditional ideas die hard. The desire for ason is as strong as ever, and the problem has been aggravated by our onechild family planning policy. Hence the numerous tragedies and comedies we hear and read so often. There are fathers who drop down in a faint when they hear their wives have given birth to daughters. There are "guerrilla" couples who roam from place to place dodging family planning officials to give one birth after another until they finally have a son.

But more often we hear of tragedies of wives being ill treated by their husbands and by their parents-in-law because they failed to give birth to sons. Recently I saw a photograph in Yangcheng Evening showing a woman with a baby in her arms appealing to passers-by in the street. The caption says she is telling people of her plight of being thrown out into the street with her baby girl by her husband'sfamily, all because she has given birth to a daughter instead of a son. I remember some time ago reading about a man pushing his three-year-old daughter down a well.

Fortunately the girl was saved by someone who happaned to pass by. The man only got a year and a half imprisonment for attempted murder. To my mind , he was just as guilty as if the girl had really drowned.
  By comparison, the story of Zhou Chenghu, an ordinary farmer of Changning County in Sichuan Province arouses more ridicule than indignation.


  Zhou's parents had died when he was still young, and he was the only son to carry on the family line. He had married early when he was only twenty. The first child was a girl, so he tried again, and the second child born the following year was also a girl. Zhou was vexed but still not unduly worried, but when the third birth turned out to be a girl too, he could sit tight no more. He began to consult doctors, quacks, witches, and fortune-tellers.

One geomancer told him that his ancestral graves were wrongly located, so he dug up his mother's grave and had her remains reburied. But that didn't seem to help him as he had a fourth daughter. Now really desperate he disturbed the dead again and had his father reburied this time. But it seemed nothing could help, for the fifth was still a daughter. In the meantime he had incurred upon himself heavy fines for violating family planning laws.

Another geomancer told him that the gods would help him if he had a temple archway built. What would he not do as long as he could get a son? So no expenses were spared and he did as the geomancer told him. But the gods remained unmoved and gave him another girl. As the newborn baby uttered her first cry upon entering this world, her father began to wail most miserably.


  He was now a bitterly disappointed and broken man. He became a heavy drinker. He habitually beat up his wife and daughters for no reasons at all. He had nothing to live for. He felt he could not look people in the face because he had no son. When the whole village had electric lights installed, he had to go without because he had no rnoney. In fact, his debts ran to four figures and he could see no way of repaying them.


  Then one day early this year, after loading himself heavy with drink, Zhou Chenghu ended his own miserable life at the age of forty. Perhaps he was not as guilty as the man who tried to drown his own daughter, but to leave his wife and six daughters to fend for themselves, though no crime was certainly not excusable. And all because he had no son!


                              Text B

  After ignoring family planning policies and siring three girls Zhang, who lives in a village in Henan Province, finally got the son he was waiting for this year.
  Despite the heavy fines exacted for breaking the regulations on family planning, Zhang was overjoyed.
  The honest and simple peasant does not hesitate when asked why he so much desired a son. "Why? Who'll support me when I get old?"


  Actually there are some homes for old folks in the village and nearby. But though he supposes they live well there, Zhang still does not believe the old folks are happy.
  "It's just so-so there. Wlio knows what it'll be like over there when I get old. It's better to have a son," Zhang said.
  And a son-in-law cannot be depended on to support him, says Zhang.


  A son-in-law who lives with his wife's family is looked down on by the community. He cannot be expected to replace a naturalson.
  A family nearby ha's four sons. Life became very hard when the two older sons got married. However., the third son says he would rather be a bachelor for life than risk having to take in some day his wife's aged parents.


  As China's family planning programme enters the 1990s, traditional ideas on family life are posing the major barriers to limiting China's population.
  These ideas have formed over thousands of years.
  The concept of "more sons, more happiness" still exists in some rural areas , especially in poor and remote ones.
  For some families, the presence of several sons gives parents a feeling of protection. Families with no boys , or few boys, may feel intimidated by families with many sons.


  Another problem the country must face is early marriages. A survey in a town in Zhecheng County shows young people marrying earlier than the law prescribes.
  Some are engaged by the age of 15. Parents dream of grandchildren,
and sometimes they encourage early marriages, ignoring the government's call for "marriage at mature ages ".
  Changing these ideas is hard as tens of millions of peasants are illiterate.




                    Additional Information

  Wang is a school teacher in Shimen in east Sichuan. At 36 he was still a lonely bachelor and was likely to remain one until one day towards the end of 1988 he happened to read in the matrimonial column of a magazine an advertisement which read; Yang, a woman of 31 who is a family planning officer in a certain township in south Sichuan, seeks a reliable and understanding man for a spouse having been disappointed in her first love affair by the man she has lost her heart to . . . '


  Somehow this advertisement appealed to Wang greatly. After much thought he plucked up his courage and wrote to this woman Yang. It was first love letter he had written in his life. To his surprise and great joy he got a very warm response. Things went so smoothly in fact that very soon the woman appeared before him in flesh and blood, with a divorce certificate in her 6and to prove that she was a free woman and was sincere in .

her desire to marry him. Wang could hardly believe in his own luck, and so with great haste he said good-bye to his bachelor life. On the wedding night , however, he got a great shock when he discovered that his bride was already three months pregnant. But he was a reasonable man, and instead of blaming her he did his best to console her, assuring her that nothing could alter his love for her.


  And he was as good as his words , so the newly-wed couple lived in harmony and bliss until half a year later when Yang gave birth to a lovely plump son. Wang cared for the mother and child as if he was the real father.
  Then on the day of the full month of the baby, Wang came home from school to find that his wife had prepared a small feast.Overjoyed and teuched by this show of affection,he nevertheless admonished her for overtiring herself while secretly congratulating himself for having found such a considerate and loving wife.


  Then, before he had finished eating and with the wine still warm in his heart , Yang suddenly said to him : "Happily we got together, now let us gladly part!" Wang could hardly believe his ears. "Please don't talk such nonsense!"
  "I'm not talking nonsense. We have to divorce. To be quite honest, I don't find it easy leaving you like this, and I feel very sad having cheated you. You are a very good man. But I was a happily married woman with a lovely daughter. Our only regret was having no son. What were we to do? I couldn't very well give a second birth, especially as I am a family planning officer.

So my husband and I worked out this plan ...We agreed to divorce temporarily after having made sure I was prcgnant again. I had secretly gone to see a doctor and he had given me hope that it was likely going to be a boy, and so we went ahead with our plan. After I put out fhe advertisement, I got many offers We picked on you for two reasons. First, you are a teacher and therefore are likely to be a reasonable man and would not make things difficult for me. Secondly, you are no longer so young and would not be too choosy and therefore would readily take me ... Now you know all. Say whatever you like. Curse me, call me names ... All I ask is that you forgive me and let me go back to my former husband."


  Wang was dumb-founded. In vain he tried to plead and remonstrate, and begged her to stay. But Yang was adamant. "I still love my former husband.
Our divorce was not for real in the first place. If you don't let me go. you can only keep my body, but you can't keep my heart. I had madeit clear in my advertisement that I had lost my heart to my first love!"


  In the end the good, honest Wang had to agree to divorce hcr and let her go. Left alone again, Wang thought not only of the injury done to himself,but the deceit and trickery on the part of the couple to dodge the law, and the woman was supposed to be some sort of officer of the law too. Could such a monstrous thing be allowed? Was the force of feudal ideas so much stronger than the force of law?
  We may well ask the same questions.

Lesson 24

                      Want to Kill Yourself ?

                            Text A

  I wonder whether smoking is as harmful as doctors make us believe it to be? Some of the things they say are really hair-raising, and even if only half of what they say is true , then it is , if not suicidal, at least a self-inflicted chronic disease.

  This afternoon our League branch organized a discussion on the harmful effects of smoking and what effective measures should be taken to prevent young people from smoking. According to our form master , 50 % of our class smoke , or have smoked at one time or another. If that is true, then all the boys because we make up about 50 % of our class- I can hardly believe that.


I, for one, certainly don't smoke, though I must admit I did once take a few puffs just out of curiositys , but you can't call that smoking.
  The discussion was quite a lively one. The girls , of course , all spoke in one voice against smoking , but for the most part , they had nothing original to offer besides repeating what we can read in the papers and popular science magazines. At first the boys listened in glum silence and I could see boredom and disdain on their faces. Then the cross-fire between Fatty and Liu Dandan livened the meeting up.

Dandan has always been something of an actress and in her theatrical manner she went on and on describing how bad a cigarette tastes. Fatty couldn't contain himself any longer and muttered under his breath, "Heavens , you must be a very experienced smoker! " Everybody burst out laughing and Dandan spluttered with rage. The girls rallied round her and began to attack Fatty. Of course we could have none of that and the classroom was soon in uproar.


  "All right you boys and girls , that is quite enough. Show some sense. " Our form master's firm voice had quite a sobering effect and order was restored again. "Those who do smoke, please put up your hands. " Taken by surprise, nobody made any move. "Come on. There is nothing to fear. This is not for punishment.


I only want statistics. I only want information so that we can really find out something about smoking. " We looked at each other. First Fatty, then about half a dozen boys raised their hands. Then our form master proceeded to ask each of them why they smoked and whether they liked smoking. Did they ever try to give it up? Why not? And so on and so on. Soon he didn't have to ask any questions as we all volunteered information and the discussion became very lively and the atmosphere relaxed.


  Some interesting facts came out. Family and surroundings play a very important part in influencing smokers. All those who smoke come from smoking families or are surrounded by smoking friends and relatives. Films and TV plays also play a part. In the past only villains smoked and drank. Now heroes also smoke and drink, and heroes now are mostly young people with the "spirit of the 80s" fighting feudalism and conservatism.

As to those who smoked and have given up , they did so because they didn't enjoy smoking and found it too expensive. Very few people think about health dangers. All those who still smoke admit that they don't derive any great pleasure out of smoking. Srncking haa not bccome a a.a:rdenecl habit with them and they could give it up easily if thcy really wanted to. They just haven't felt any urgent need to do it.
  A very interesting and rewarding discussion . Those smokers who haven't given much thought to their smoking will, I'm sure, give more thought to it now.


                            Text B

  Few people like changing their habits , good or bad , and , whether it is smoking, drinking or over-eating, they continue `enjoying' them to the end, often the bitter end. On every packet of cigarettes and in every advertisement , Americans are warned against the dangers of smoking, "Warning ; The Surgeon Gcneral Has Determined That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health".

In spite of this, millions of them start smoking or go on smoking. Why ? One reason rnay be that people watch their 'heroes' on TV drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes and fighting their way from adventure to adventure, `heroes' who seem to fear nothing, neither killing other people nor killing themselves with alcohol and cigarettes.

If they are not afraid of the effects of smoking and drinking alcohol, why should John Smith , sitting at home in his armchair watching all this, be afraid? The simple warning on the cigarette packet does not influence his "hero's" habits either. But even stronger warnings, likc showing pictures of smokers who have lost a leg or died of canccr, seem to have no effect on people's smoking habits. Knowing and believing seem to be two different things.

The young girl smoking a cigarette in the advertisement runs the risk of dying of cancer in a few years. The smoker sitting next to you may have a heart attack next week. But don't worry ! The chance of dying in an accident is just as great. Particularly if enough people agree with one advertiser that driving a car at 212 m. p. h. and smoking interesting cigarettes is all that life is really
about.



                    Additional lnformation

                              (A)

                        World 'No Tohacco' Day
  People in all parts of the world are observing "No Tobacco Day". It is the day when the World Health Organization appeals to people to stop using tobacco products. The W-H-O hopes if people stop smoking cigarettes or chewing tobacco for one day, they will stop permanently.


  The day includes special observances and awards ceremonies in onehundred-sixty-six countries. The target group for this year's "No Tobacco Day" is women. Organizers want to make sure women know the dangers of smoking.
  Health experts have warned for years that smoking can lead to heart disease, cancer and other problems. The World Health Organization says diseases linked to smoking kill at least two-million five-hundred-thousand persons each ycar.


  Still, many people find it difficult to stop smoking. One reason is nicotime,
a substance found in cigarettes. Nicotine is a drug. 'The effects of nicotine are similar to the effects of cocaine and heroin.
  "No Tobacco Day" is aimed at smokers and those who earn money from tobacco sales. So businesses are asked to stop selling tobacco products for twenty-four hours. Newspapers are asked not to publish advertisements for cigarettes.


  Two important developments have been observed in recent years. In inciustrial count.ries, the number of smokers has been falling about one percerit a vear. But in developing countries, the number has bcen rising two percent a year.
  This is the result of increased efforts by tobacco companies to sell their products in developing countrics.


  The World Health Organization has approved plans to help reach its goal of a 'smoke-free' world. One urges governments to offer tobacco farmers the chance to earn money by growing other crops. Another involves improved public information campaigns about the dangers of smoking.

                              (B)


MIRIAM   Yeah, when, when did you start smoking?
STEVE   Well, I started when I was, er, about sixteen, and I really started because
  I. . . well , I think my family smoked and that really made me want to, er,...
  really; somehow it was like growing up.
MIRIAM   Yeah.
STEVE   And, of course, my friends around me were smoking and when we, when we
  left school we'd go over the park and have a s... , and have a quick cigarette.
  And er, I mean, I do remember when I first started that I didn't really draw
  cigarettes at all because I didn't really know how to do it and I didn't think
  it was very pleasant ; and it's only as time goes by you get more and more
  involved in that,erm, in that process until finally you've ... you realise
  that you, you can't give up. And, in fact, when I first started I used to
  pretend that I was so hooked that I couldn't give up, because it was like
  being a child-it was like being a, being a grown-up. You know, grown-ups say
  they can't give up smoking, they wish they couldn't smoke and I used to pretend
  to say that.And of course , by the time it really happens it's too late.
  It doesn't mean the same thing any more. You actually want to give up but you
  can't.
MIRIAM   I've smoked since I was eighteen and I started , er. . as you did , sort of ...
  sort of socially. And it wasn't a lot of fun to start with.
STEVE   Right.
MIRIAM   It was quite embarrassing, sometimes, you know. You get srnoke in your eyes and
  your eyes would water and it's a dead give-away that you've only just started.
STEVE   Mmm.
MIRIAM   Er. And I didn't care for the taste all that much but everybody. . . people  
  smoked. . . I mean I started smoking a long time ago before anything was
  known about cancer and, er... it was just the thing to do. And as, as you said,
  it was a... , it was being grown-up. It was drawing that line, you know:
  I am, now grown up.
ANNE   I should think I started at nine. .. I started. No, I really started my first  
  year at university. Everybody else smoked. It was just the thing to do.And
  now not.so many people smoke, it's ... it seems to me that it was an awful
  waste of time and money. But my father smoked and my mother didn't so it was
  always a split thing in the house. I don't know, I really.. I think it probably
  just was a social habit more than anything else.
JOHN   Like most people , I started smoking at school , foolishly. Er , I was offered  
  cigarettes by other, er, children and in those days, I suppose smoking was the
  equivalent of drug taking today; er, that it was considered, erm, ... erm,...
  fashionable and sophisticated and adult to smoke.

Lesson 25

                Don't They Feel Ashamed of Themselves?

                            Text A

  We were at the terminus and as a bus had just left, there were only the two of us. "We're sure to get good seats," I thought to myself confidently. But soon there was a crowd and nobody seemed to have the least intention of forming a line. In fact everybody was trying to crane forward and soon they were almost standing in the middle of the road so as to be in the best strategic position.
I realized I had been over-optimistic about getting seats. So I said to Granny: "You get on in your own good time, Granny. I'll get on first to find a seat for you. " She was terifified at the idea : "Oh no , you don't ! Never mind about the seat. The important thing is to get on the bus. I'll never manage it by myself. "


  Looking at all the young men around us, I realized Granny was right. All the young men had intent faces just like soldiers ready to go into action. And when a bus did finally arrive, everybody rushed forward to meet it so as to be just in front of one of the doors, and people ran along with the bus, keeping as near to a door as possible until finally the bus came to a halt and the doors opened.

The mad scramble that followed defies description. It was almost a free-for-all: people fought, jostled, pushed and elbowed their way forward, accompanied by shouts and curses all around. I had great difficulty in pushing Granny into the bus. I was really afraid that her old bones might crack Had a lot of difficulties in getting on myself too. People behin me pushed, people beside me elbowed, and people in front of m seemed to have formed a block of solid wall.

Actually there wa plenty of roam in the bus. After all the seats had been taken people who got on just stood near the doorway and refused t move in, blocking the way for all those behind who had not ye got on. After what seemed to me to be an eternity of pushin and shouting, all the passengers managed to get on and th doors finally closed.

I looked around, hoping somebody woul have the decency to give up his seat to Granny. But they a seemed to be glued to their seats, those "elegantly" dresse young men and ladies, looking happy and smug, apparentl proud of the fact that they were smart enough to be ahead c everybody else.


  After the bus started, Granny began to wobble on her feet and I had to hold her tight to prevent her from falling. "Will someone be kind enough to give the old lady a seat?" The conductress called out several times , meeting no response. Some seemed to have suddenly dozed off, and others seemed to be captivated by something very interesting outside the bus window.


In the end it was a middle-aged lady who stood up and gave Granny her seat. After thanking the lady, I helped Granny sit down and looked at those "elegant" young people again, trying to detect some traces of shame on their faces. But I found none.


                            Text B

  Vietnam? Isn't that a shame? (Laughs softly. ) I saw a file on Vietnam, it showed the actual fighting. It looked ridiculous, just a bunch of kids. It was actually embarrassing to watch that, people were actually shooting and shouting. I saw Vietnam. .I looked at a map once. I'm concerned with Vietnam if my brother has to go, otherwise, no.


  My interest in life is me. It's a shame. I wish I could pick up a newspaper and read it. What I hear about things is heard from other people.
  I hope I'll make it. I think it's marriage, to someone who is successful. Highland Park, a couple of kids. I'm not too crazy about children, though. You're sitting in a room, and all of a sudden five kids'll come in and they'll go to another girl in the room. Same with dogs.


  I'm worried about the next couple of years. Here I'm putting all this time and feeling into this relationshp with Steven, and to have it not work out, it would be terrible. I don't know what I'd do. I'd probably find someone else and be just as happy.
  We have to have war, there's been wars through all the ages , apparently everyone gets enjoyment out of it. If we removed


this part from man, it would be boring. Otherwise things would be sort of dull.
  I love my building, I just love it. If I'm on a bus going to my mother's, I look at these people and get a nauseous feeling. On Michigan Avenue, I rospect them more. Home gives me a sick feeling.
  lt's a shame Blacks don't like me and children don't like me and dogs don't run up to me.



                    Additional Information

  Not long ago, a newspaper column caught my attention. It was the first time since I came to America that I read about an issue similar to the ones I often heard in China.
  It all started'from a letter sent to a newspaper column by a woman named Sally from Toronto, Canada. She told the columnist about her unpleasant experience on a bus ride in Canada. She was in the late stage of her pregnancy, with very swollen ankles. Howevei, people on the bus just pretended not to notice her.


  The responses to 5ally's letter, in the columnist's words were "staggering", and many of them were "unpredictable".
  Almost all the women readers, of course, gave their understanding and sympathy to Sally. A woman who signed her name as "L. M. " related Sally's experience with her own. She told the columnist that she had used public transportation for ll years in Detroit and never saw a man give his seat t0 a pregnant woman. She pointed out, however, women passengers did it all the time.

As for her own experience, she once offered a seat to another pregnant woman when she herself was in her seventh month pregnancy. When the other woman sat down and said to L. M. , "Bless you for saving my life", the man sitting next to her "turned red as a tomato".


  Some people think that nowadays in America, a lot of men were raised with no manners. A woman reader from California wrote about what she once saw on a bus and implied that parents should be strict with their children's behavior. She was sitting behind a mother and a teenage son. An elderly lady got on the bus and stood near the boy, struggling to stay upright.


The boy was engrossed in his comic book when his mother poked him and ordered him to give his seat to that elderly woman. The Californian woman thought the mother was doing a fine job bringing up her son.


  Men readers, however, responded to Sally differently. Some of them have long resented at women's equal rights campaigns, and took this opportunity to get back at women. Here is what a man from Anchorage, Alaska wrote: This is for Sally in Toronto who figures she is entitled to g seat on the bus because she is seven months pregnant: Get real, lady, this is the ྖs. You women have been screaming about equal rights , so now you've got them. Live with your equal rights and stop beefing.


  Another reader from Philadelphia claimed he learned his lesson trom an experience on a bus. This is what he wrote in his letter published in November, 1990: The last time I offered a woman a seat on the bus was in 1972 She glared at me and said. "Do I look helpless?" I replied, "No, but I thought . . . " She cut me off with, "Y'ou thought? The trouble with you chauvinists is that you don't think. Women today don't want a seat on a bus. They want equal pay. " She then launched into a women's liberation lecture. I was never so glad to get off a bus in my life.


  There are also those who are unhappy with life and hate the world in which they are living. Therefore, they used Sally's letter as an opportunity to speak out their mind. A person from Oakland does not think Sally deserves any sympathy. His reason is that overpopulation is a major problem in the universe today and there are other reasons that he dislikes this world. Therefore, he concludes that anyone who would bring a child into this "crazy, mixed-up" world is insane and deserves punishment.

Lesson 26

              There Are Two Sides to Everything

                        Text A

  I had a most exasperating and frustrating experience with the hospital today: But Granny had it much worse. First she was the victim of an accident and then she was the suffering patient.


  She was out shopping early this morning, and was hardly a few scores of yards from our house when she was knocked down hy a bicycle. The rider was a reckiess young man who didn't even stop after the accident, but raced away as though an army was after him. It was a neighbour who recognized her and came to call me (both of my parents were out ).

When I heard the news, my heart jumped up to my mouth. I raced downstairs, two or three steps at a time and sprinted to the spot. I never ran so fast in my iife. There I saw a crowd of people. I elbowed my way in, and saw Granny sitting on the ground leaning against a tree, her face all swollen and her mouth bleeding. She was holding her left arm with her right hand. It must be a fracture judging rom the way it hurt her.

Some of the crowd were concerned and offering help and advice, but most were just curious onlookers.omeone managed to stop a passing car for us, and the driver kindly drove us to the nearest hospital. Then our ordeal began.


  Naturally I took her to the emergericy room first and expected immediate attention. But we had to wait for at least ten minutes before a doctor came over to us. I-Ie just took a brief look at her and said simply: "Go to the dental department. " "But doctor, aren't you going to give her a thorough check?" I asked "Don't worry, her life is not in danger. " Before I could say anything more , he was already out of sight.


  There was nothing for us to do but look for the dental department which took us a long time because it was on the third floor. There the dentist told us that we must register first, so I had to rush all the way down again to the ground floor, there only to find a long queue. I tried to jump the queue explaining it was an emergency case, "Go to the emergency room if it's an emergency case ! "

I didn't know whether to laugh or to cry. Anyway I stood obediently at the end of the line and at last when my turn came I was given many forms to fill, some of which were very detailed and quite unnecessary I thought. After filling them I found I had to queue up once again to hand them in! By the time everything was finished and I rushed upstairs, I was happy to find the dentist had the decency not to wait for me before treating Granny. That was the first comforting thing after entering the hospital and I really felt grateful to the dentist. After putting several stitches to lips and gum, the dentist said "That's all. Now go and pay your bill. "


  "But doctor, her arm hurts. "
  "You have to go to the surgical department for that. It's just opposite. I'll take you there. "
  I really like the man. But all the same I had to run all the way down to the ground floor to register again for the surgical department. And for all that much trouble the doctor spent less than five minutes examining Granny and sai: "She'll need an X-ray." He wrote out a chit and that was that.


  The X-ray department was on the ground floor and I had to help her all the way down. The complications and rigmarole involved in getting the X-ray done were too complicated and irritating to describe. The long and short of it was, after we got the X-ray picture, I had to take Granny all the way up again to the third floor. After taking a look at it , the doctor said :"No bones broken. I'll prescribe some pain-killer and antibiotics. "


  So it was all the way down again. The complications in paying the bill and getting the medicine were too silly for words. I had to queue from window to window-to~get the medicine priced and added up , to pay the bill ; to get the medicine. . . And if you didn't know the right order and sequence, which I didn't, it often meant standing in the wrong queue only to be told to come back again after queuing up at another window.


  By the time we got home it was almost one o'clock. We had spent almost four hours at the hospital, and I made a calculation: Five minutes with the doctor in the emergency room, half an hour with the dentist, ten minutes with the surgeon-three
quarters of an hour all told. The rest of the time was spent waiting, queuing,rushing from place to place. If Granny had had to do all that by herself, she wouldn't have left the hospital alive, I'm sure.

                          Taxt B

  Dr Ding Ping, a bone specialist in No. 2 People's Hospital of Anqing in Anhui Province, won a bronze medal at the 37th International Eureka Fair in Brussels iast year for his invention, a new bone-setting device. Not only the doctor himself vvas happy and honoured . his hospital , indeed the whole city felt honoured and happy too. But who would have thought that his invention not only brought the doctor a bronze medal , but also plunged him into a heavy debt.


  It all started in 1986 when for the whole ycar Dr Ding spent his every spare minute on his new invention. After another year's clinical trial use, the device proved to be effective. So in June last year Dr Ding was informed by the Science Commission of Anhui Province that this invention had been selected to compete
in the 37th Eureka International Fair.


  This was indeed happy news, but Dr Ding's happiness was marred by the fact that he had to pay 5, 000 yuan for entering his item for the fair. Where on earth was he to raise such a huge sum? He applied for aid from the Municipal Science Commission but got turned down because firstly the Commission thought his irivention was a private one , the work of an individual and therefore could not be funded by the public, and secondly the Commission was hard up anyway and could not afford to pay out such a large sum.

So what was to be done? At the last moment his hospital came to the rescue : They agreed to lend Dr Ding 5, 000 yuan, but starting from January this year, they would deduct 50 yuan from his monthly salary until the debt was fully repaid.


  Dr Ding was grateful and' jumped at the chance. But he was under no illusion about the predicamentz2 he was plunging himself into. His salary was only 97 yuan a month. His wife, a school teacher, only brought home 82 yuan a month. With two daughters at school their life was not easy as it was. To have 50 yuan deducted monthly from their meagre income for the next eight years would mean a financial burden that would surely break the camel's back


  Discarding all face problems, Dr Ding started to beg for alms from all quarters. Mostly he met with rebuffs, but he could not afford to give up. After a few months of begging from door to door, he managed to collect 1,400 yuan. Quite a substantial
sum, but he was still 3,600 yuan short.


  The news that his invention had won a bronze medal not only brought some spiritual comfort , but also some material gains. His hospital decided to award him 500 yuan as a token of recognition for his brilliant work. But the fact remains that he still had a debt to pay, now reduced to 3,100 yuan. Again he applied for help from various municipal departments, but so far without success.
  Is Dr Ding and his family going to spend the next five years
in poverty and misery just because he has invented something useful and won international recognition?



                  Additiosal Information

  It's a hospital scene. People are lining up for registration. After seeing the doetor they come back to line up again for tgeir medicine, Of course it's a very time-consuming process, because they have to get the prescriptions priced at one window and pay at. another. Then at the last window they get their medicine. That means altogether they have to line up at three different windows just to get their medicine.


  To avoid all this trouble, a smart woman works out the most convenient
way of getting her medicine. She herself stands at the end of the first line and puts her pram with her baby in it, a toy duck and her own bag at the end of the other three lines. She has them all strung'together with the wool yarn with which she's knitting. She believes this will save her the trouble
of lining up three times.

Lesson 27

                Is It an Ideal Career?

                          Text A

  I am not an extreme feminist. I am not an extreme anything. However, I am a firm believer in equality and freedom. I think we are all entitled to the same rights and opportunities.
  perhaps my views on feminism are influenced by the fact that I was an only child and perhaps if I had had a brother,he (and I) might have been treated differently.


  My mother was the perfect example of all an ardent feminist would hate: she waited hand and foot on my father and did it all without complaint. When my father arrived home from work his soup was served. Every night his clothes for the next day were left out with the underwear thoughtfully placed on top so that he didn't even have to think what to put on first.

His shoes were always polished for him, his right to be first in the bathroom was never challenged, and if he ever found himself in the kitchen, it was by mistake. My mother was honestly content with this situstion and regarded my father as a perfect husband: he was a caring, generous man-a good provider. What more could any woman ask?


  I remember being brought up, not as a male or femaie,but simply as an individual, and although I suppose I must have been influenced by my parents, I do not remember ever being eneouraged to make marriage my major ambition.
  I was fortunate enough to marry a man who did not expect to chain me to the kitchen sink. He was quite capable of polishing his own shoes , and mine too while he was at it. He was also able to wash dishes , dust , or do anything else around the house. We managed beautifully, with no strict male/female division of labour.


  Our first baby arrived, much to our delight, six months ago. I was more than pleased to give up my job as I had become sick of it. I looked forward to my baby, and now he is here I actually enjoy him very much. I have no intention of returning to Work, as I think our son ought to have a parent to care for him for a few years at least. Indeed, I could be very happy with the situation, were I not experiencing quite unexpected problems adapting to my new role.


  When I attended the ante-natal clinicfi, I remember the doctor asking me what I 'was' , meaning my occupation, rather than my blood group or star sign. Yet when I went to the baby clinic for the first time, all they wanted to know was what my husband 'was'. I am still wonderirig what difference that makes to anything, and I was hurt that nobody wanted to know about me any more. Quite suddenly I was just someone's wife and someone's mother. I no longer seemed to have an identity of my


  Where, previously, my husband was quite happy to help around the house, his attitude now seems to be that if I'm at home all day, I can do all the housework. And what bugs me most is that I find myself going along with it. If the baby cries during the night, then there is no question about who gets up. Have I taken leave of my senses? My sense of self-esteern seems to be clogged with baby powder and baby cream!    


  But the aspect of motherhood I've found hardest to take has been the loss of earning power, and what I see as a loss of financial independence. For seven years I enjoyed helping to bring home the bacon; and money never caused a row. It does now.


  Although the decision to have our baby and for me to stay at home was a joint one, I feel totally dependent on my husband, who is becoming more and more irritated by my stupidity. The indignity of being financially dependent on my husband is something I feel very, sensitive about. Logically, having a baby ought to have extended me as a person: I should be the person I was plus the person I am, as a result of my new experience.


  It hasn't worked out like that. Motherhood seems to have wiped out ten years of varied and interesting work experience and taken me back, not forwards-a whole generation back. But the hig difference between my mother and me is that she was happy and I am not. I know a conflict that she couldn't have imagined.

　
                          Text B

  Having a specia! day in honour of teachers is a fine thing. But one day a year is not enough!
  Where would the world be withocrt teachers? What hope would there be for human progress? Teachers deserve the respect of the whole of society the whole year round. But they haven't got it. What is most remarkable and regrettable is that in this great land of China, with its ancient civilization and traditional respect for learning, teachers are so looked d'own upon that it is necessary to set aside a day to show respect for them.


  Why is this? I believe that teachers' low social status is inseparable
from their I'ow pay, and poor living and: working conditions-though
these are gradually being improved. But still the state allocation of funds for education is, per capila, amongthe lowest in the world. So teachers are, in gengeral,under-paid and overworded-especially those in pre-school, primary and secondary education.

This despite the faat that Comrade Deng Xiaoping immediately onv resuming office pointedout: education is a continuous process and the pay and'conditions of teachers from the most elementary level must be improved. This statement was most encouraging', but progress since it was made, some years ago,. has been painfully slow.
  So today, who wants to become a teacher? Who wants to marry a teacher? When far better prospects are offered in other professions?

True,"man does not live by bread alone " -but he can't live without it. Of course many fine dedicated people are still willing, even eager to become and remain teachers. Many, but not enough. That's one reason why there are middle sehool classes of 70 and more pupils , an intolerabl'e situation. The lower the number of students in a class , the higher the quality of education can be.


  Of course I am not speaking personally. Looking back on, 35 years as a teacher in China I feel grateful. As a teacher here I have had a happy and rewarding life. Being surrounded by young people has helped to keep me young. But my pay and conditions are well above those of my Chinese colleagues.A big and rapid improvement in their social status, together with a similar improvement in their pay, working cond'i~ions and bousing, will attract more and more fine people to the teaching profession. Th is a vital and urgent necessity for China's socialist modernization.



                  Additional Information

  For many of you this will be your last year at shcool and now is the time for you to begin thinking seriously about your future careers. In order to give you as much help as possible, I have drawn up a list of questions that you ought to ask yourself.


"Have I given thought to what I would like to be doing 15 to 20 yeas from now?" Bear in mind that the career you choose will affect the future course of your life. It will partially determine your range of friends, your choice of husband or wife, where you live, your recreational activities. and other important aspects of your life.


  "Have I a clear knowledge of my abilities and aptitudes, as well as my interests and aims?" & honest about your weak points as well as your strong ones. Take a really good look at yourself and give real thought to the kind of person you are, what you are good at, and what kind of person you want to be.


  "Do I know the kind of occupations in which people like myself tend to find success and satisfaction?" Once you have examined and found out about yourself , your next question is what you can really do with yourself. You can gain some idea of what other people, with similar abilities and interests. consider to be important and challenging in the careers that they chose , by talking to people already in the careers that interest you. Watch these people at work.


  "Have I weighed carefully the immediate advantages against the longterm
prospects offered by the jobs I am considering?" Will the occupation you select give you satisfaction, not just when you start, but in the years to come? Realize now the importance of education in all fields, technical and professional. Remember that when promotion occurs, preference is usually given to educated persons-other things being equal.


  "Have I talked about my job references with my careers master, my parents, my teachers and my headmaster?" Remember they have a tremendous furid of experience from which you should benefit. They can help you think about the job in which you will find satisfaction and challenge. They can stimulate you to give careful thought to what you really want to do, and offer useful suggestions as to how you might take full advantage of your personal qualities and qualification.


  "Have I made a real study of jobs in Hong Kong?" It takes a very long time to find the work that suits you the best. Reading about and studying a number of occupations is something you should do over and over again. In Hong Kong very little written material is provided about the careers available. But there is some. You or your parents should obtairi it as soon as possible. Your careers master will be able to help you in this, if your school has one.


  "How do I regard my job? Is it just a means of getting money to do the things that I want to do? Is the work important to me and my future happiness and contentment? Is it a combination of both these things?" The above questions and their answers should give you some better ideas about how you should start planning your career. Your life-long job cannot be approached in any kind of haphazard fashion. It must be considered carefull, examined from every angle, talked over with those who know you and those who can help you in any way.

Lesson 28

                    The Perfect Match

                          Text A

  I walked into the office and shook hands with a smiling man named Mr Bleaucher. He was dressed very well, compared to me. He shuffled a pile of papers like they were so many pancakes.

  "I'm sure you'll be very pleased with her," he said. "She was picked by our compatibility computer out of over one hundred ten million eligible women in the United States. We categorize by race, religion, ethnic and regional background. . . "
  I sat there interestedly, wishing I had taken a shower before I came. It was a very nice office but the chair wasn't too comfortable.


  "And now . . . " he said. He flung open the door to the next room like a magician. He needed a cape , though. I was expecting a rabbit but I got a surprise.
  She was pretty. Really, she was pretty.
  "Mr Walker, this is Miss Dunfield of Laughing Lake, Montana.
Miss Dunfield, this is Mr Franklin Walker of New York. "
  "Really Frank. Franklin is something else again," I said. I
was a little nervous. She was pretty, you see.
  Mr Bleaucher left and we were able to talk. "Hello. "
  "Hello," she said.


  "I'm ... I'm very pleased with the choice," I said. I was trying to be suave. Maybe she didn't like being called a choice. "I mean - I'm glad the way things turned out. "
  She smiled. She had a nice smile. Good teeth.
  "Thank you," she said. "So am I. " She was shy.
  "I'm thirty-one," I blurted out.
  "Yes , I know , " she said. "It's all on the cards. "


  It seemed like the conversation was about over. Everything was on the cards. So there wasn't really much to talk about.
  "How about children?" she said.
.   "Three. Two boys and a girl. "
  "That's exactly what I want," she said. "It's down on the file under `Future Planning' . That one there. "


  I suddenly noticed that sheaf of papers in my hand. On the first page was glued an IBM card with vital statistics about her. I guessed the thing she was holding was the same thing on me. I began looking through it and so did she. The turning pages made a lot of noise.
  It said she liked classical music. (This was in "Preferences and Habits". )
  "You like classical music?" I asked her.


  "Well. . . better than anything else. I also have the complete collection of Frankie Laine records. "
  "He was a great old singer," I agreed.
  I went on looking through the file and so did she. She liked books , football , sitting near the front in movies , sleeping with the windows closed, dogs, cats, goldfish, tuna fish, salami sandwiches, simple clothes, private schools for the children (our children, really), living in the suburbs, art museums. ...
  She looked up. "It seems we like the same things , " she said.


  "The exact same things , " I said.
  I read the report titled "Psychology". She was shy, avoided arguments, wasn't outspoken, a good mother type.
  "I'm glad you don't drink or smoke," she said.
  "I don't. I don't like to. Sometimes I have beer, though. " "It doesn't say so down here. "
  "Well, maybe I forgot to put that down. " I hoped she didn't mind.
  We finished reading the reports on each other. "We're very much alike , " she said.


  Alice and I have been married for nine years now. We have the three kids already, two boys and a girl. We live in the suburbs
and listen to a lot of classical and Frankie Laine records. The last time we had an argument is too far back to remember. We agree on practically everything. She's been a good wife and, if I may say so, I've been a good husband. Our marriage is perfect.
  We're getting divorced next month. I can't stand it.


                          Text B

  Mum's first attempt at match-making ended in dismal failure. People say as a woman approaches middle age, she interests herself in young people's love affairs and likes match-making. If this is true, I hope this first failure would discourage Mum from acquiring such an interest.


  I really don't know why she should have gone to such lengths to try to bring those two young people together. It was a fruitless and thankless job, doomed from the start because both parties put impossible demands on the opposite side. The man, Xiao Liu, is about thirty and works in Mum's office, apparently a very promising young man with an M. A. degree.

Because he is very choosy he has never been able to find a wife and is beginning to get worried as he will soon be over thirty. The girl works in Dad's office and is twenty-eight. She is also a college graduate and very good at her work. She is quite pretty and has a very strong character. She too has not been able to find a husband because she is too choosy. Mum had thought innocently that however choosy they might have been, they would surely be satisfied this time. So she invited them over to meet in our house. She even went to the trouble of cooking them a delicious dinner.

  But Mum's pairis were not rewarded. I don't know how they appreciated Mum's dinner, liut they certainly didn't appreciate each other. Xiao Wu could only meet two of Xiao Liu's numerous demands. She is pretty and she has a college degree. But besides that he also wants the girl to be under twenty-five, to be gentle and docile, a periect housewife. He thought Xiao Wu had too strong a character and that he wouldn't be able to "control her ".

On the other hand he fared even worse in Xiao Wu's eyes, having met only one of her demands. He is a post-graduate student which is one of her prerequisites for a future hus band, and this seems to be the only thing in his favour. She wants her future husband to be an overseas Chinese, or at least to have relatives overseas , so that she could go abroad someday.

Also she wants the man to be around l. 75m in height and Xiao Liu is only 1. 68m. I've heard people say that nowadays, girls consider any young man under 1. 7m as a semi-handicapped, Thank God; I'm already l. 73m and with any luck I can grow another 5cm - a most respectable height. But I don't have any relatives abroad though!


  Mum was most annoyed, and put all the blame on the girl. "What more does she want? She should realize that she's already 28 and she'll never find such an eligible young man again. " Mum never mentioned a word about Xiao Liu's own objections."Who told you to help such an arrogant young man? Xiao Wu is a hundred times better than he is. Any sensible young man would have jumped at the chance. "
  "Jump at the chance ! I bet you wish you could jump at the chance yourself ! "
Dad didn't know whether to laugh or to be angry.



                Additional Information

  A 50-year-old woman could not help crying when she heard a story written by her husband over the radio, recalling the early days of their marriage.
  The story by Shen Lijun, a senior lecturer at the Changsha Commercial School in this capital of Hunan Province , depicted how he , then a college graduate, met and married his wife, Long Huilan, when he was labelled a right-winger and forced to work in a neighbourhood factory in the 1960s.


  Shen said, "In those days, I dared not fall in love with any girls because of my inferior political status, and married the first girl who was willing. " The couple confessed they did have differences of interests.
  After Shen became a lecturer, most of his visitors were intellectuals, Long said.   "After serving them a cup of tea, I had nothing to say and sat aside. Because of their cultural background, I could not get a word in edgeways during the chats. By and by, I came to see a gap between us. "


  According to Shen, he and his wife also had different ways to teach their children. "I did not like the way she treated our children: spoiling them and then beating them if they did not study well or listen to her.
  "But whenever I come across contradictions with my wife in daily life," Shen explained, "I like to recall those days of hardship we shared together, and this has become a spiritual support to us. "


  Shen is a typical example among the middle-aged people in China , an official
of the Changsha City Radio said.
  The radio has opened a special programme to help middle-aged couples deepen their love by reviewing the past and exchanging experiences. The programme has become popular with listeners and has received hundreds of letters from people from all walks of life.


  He Yingcai, a judge of the Hunan Provincial Higher People's Court, said middle-aged couples account for one third of those married in the province. Traditionally, the marriage of young people was arranged by their parents and couples paid more attention to each other's family background and political affiliation than their own feelings.
  As a result, many couples have no feelings for each other, though they have been married for years.


  According to statistics, about one quarter of the 27, 000 couples divorced last year were middle-aged.
  Rong Xiuqin, an official of the Hunan Provincial Women's Federation,said although the divorce rate among middle-aged people is lower than among people of other ages, this does not mean that their family lives are harmonious. For the sake of their children, many people try to make the best of it.


  "It is our duty to.help them form harmonious families because social stability depends on the stability of families," she said.
  Tang Xiying, a sociologist specializing in marriage and women, noted that Chinese families may not be.formed on the basis of feelings, but feelings for each other are the key to stabilizing a family.                

Lesson 29

                    The Voices of Time

                        Text A

  Time talks. It speaks more plainly than words. Time communicates in many ways.
  Consider the different parts of the day, for example. The time of the day when something is done can give a special meaning to the event. Factory managers in the United States fully realize the importance of an announcement made during the middle of the morning or afternoon that takes eveiyone away from his work. Whenever they want to make an important announcement, they ask; "When shall we let them know?"

  In the United States, it is not custorriary to telephone someone very early in the morning. If you telephone him early in the day, while he is shaving or having breakfast, the time of the call shows that the matter as very important and requires immediate attention The same meaning is attached to telephone call after 11. 00 P. M. if someone receives a call during sleeping hours, he assumes it is a matter of life or death. The time chosen for the call communicates its importance.


  In social life, time plays a very irrrportant part. In the United States, guests tend to feel they are not highly regarded if the invitation to a dinner party is extended only three or four days before the party date. But this is not true in all countries. In other areas of the world, it may be considered foolish to make an appointment too far in advance because plans which are made for a date more than a week away tend to be forgotten.


  The meanings of time dif#er .in different parts of the worid. Thus, misunderstandings arise;; .between people from cuitures that treat time differently. Promptness is valued highly in American iife, for example. If people are nvt prompt, they may be regarded as impolite or not fully responsible. In the U. S. , no one would think of kee.ping a business associate waiting for an hour, it wouid be too impolite. When equals meet, a person who is five minutes late will say a #ew words of explanation, though perhaps he may not complete the sentence.


  Americans look ahead and are concerned almost entirely with the future. The American idea of the future is limited, however. It is the foreseeable future and not the future of the Soath Asian, which may involve centuries. Someone has said of the South Asian idea of time : "Time is like a museum with endless halls and rooms. You, the viewer, are walking through the museum in the dark, holding a light to each scene as you pass it. God is in charge of the museum, and only he knows all that is in it. One lifetime represents one room. "


  Since time has such different meanings in different cultures, communication is ofte.n difficuit. We will understand each other a little better if we can ksep this fact in mind.


                            Text B

  I am a member of a small, nearly extinct minority group who insist, even though it seems to be out of date, on the sanctity of being on time.
  Which is to say that we On-timers are compulsively, unfashionably prompt, that there are only handfuls of us left, and, unfortunately, we never seem to have appointments with each other.


  The fact is that being on time has become a social mistake.
  The fact is that generally speaking, the time that the Late-people set as the Moment of Rendezvous is a code. It is a code meaning at least one half-hour later. The fact is that we Ontimers can't get that into our heads.
  We arrive invariably at the appointed hour at people's houses, which means that we have occasionally eaten'all the sandwiches before the other guests arrive. Which means that we are rude.


  Let me explain. We are, for example, invited for dinner at eight o'clock at the home of friends who live exactly twenty minutes away. We leave our house at ten to eight so that for once we will be a comfortable ten minutes late. Then even the traffic defeats us. We meet only green lights and arrive at four minutes to eight. We drive about for a while and then enter at one minute past , to the astonishment of the host and hostess.


  She is at an important stage of preparation with the saucepans. He is thinking about taking a shower.
  We end up helping with the first course and putting the baby to hed and mixing the drinks and are still left with enough time to analyse what kind of people our hosts are from the magazines on the coffee table.
  As for meeting in restaurants , you can immediately recognise us On-timers. We are the only non-alcoholics standing in restaurant doorways in December. If not, we can always be found killing time in the cloakroom or trying to look as if we are not alone at the bar.


  Now, we all know that these very same Late-people do not routinely miss planes or the beginnings of films. But, as I told a late-person recently, "If I were a train, I'd be gone. . . "
  With regard to meetings there are two kinds of peoplc. Those who hate to wait and those who hate to make others wait. The sadists and the masochists? I hope not.


  There was a New York magazine piece once about the power struggle involved in business lunches. It intimated that you could always tell the powerless and the powerful. The Indians were waiting, while the Chiefs arrived half an hour or an hour later. If you are an On-timer, you cannot make an entrance.


  The Late-people, of course, are always terribly sorry, "but something important came up" (in contrast to us, for instance). Besides, as they say, their minds are always so full of big questions (like The Bomb) that they never know what time it is. In comparison with the On-timers , 'they suggest , who have their little brains filled with stupid details like the big hand and the little hand on the clock.


  The problem is getting worse. If you adjust to the Late-people and accept the fact that they're half an hour behind the time you arranged to meet , they arrive an hour late.
  Fewer and fewer of us On-timers remain. We are now surprised when anyone else is on time. We have begun to make certain adjustments like setting our clocks and watches back or bringing the novel we're working on to dinner parties.
  How late we are to recognise that being on time is out of date, that in fact, our time has passed.



                Additional Information

                How Americans See Time

  Americans recognise that there is a past on which the present rests.But they have not developed their sense of the depth of time to the extent that this has been done in the Middle East and South Asia. The Arab,looks back two to six thousand years for his own origins. History is used as the basis for almost any modern action. The chances are that an Arab won'r start a talk or a speech or analyse a problem without first developing the historical aspects of his subject. The American assumes that time has depth, but he takes this for granted.


  The American never questions the fact that time should be planned and future events fitted into a schedule. He thinks that people should look forward to the future and not dwell too much on the past. His future is not very far ahead of him. Results must be obtained in the foreseeable futureone or two years or, at the most, five or ten. Promises to meet deadlines and appointments are taken very seriously.

　

There are real penalties for being late and for not keeping commitments in time. The American thinks it is natural to quantify time. To fail to do so is unthinkable. The American specifies how much time is required to do everything. "I'll be there in ten minutes. " "It will take six months to finish that job. " "I was in the Army for four and a half years. "


  The Americans, tike so many other people, also use time as a link that chains events together, If one event occurs on the heels of another, we inevitably try to find a causal relationship between them. If.A is seen in the vicinity of B's murder shortly after the crime has been committed we automatically form a connection between A and B. Conversely, events which are separated by too much. time are difficult for us to connect in our minds. This makes it almost impossible for us as a. nation to engage in long-range planning.